healing day

Today is a 'healing day', I'm learning not to look at them as 'bad' days any more. 
 
I believe an incredible spiritual awakening is taking place in my life, I can literally see the forces of light and darkness fighting for my very soul.
 
I know where I'm aligned, I've never let go of my anchor snd I trust it to guide me to healing.  I've received some very clear guidance over the past few years.
 
1.. I must heal my emotional wounds.   I am repeatedly impressed by the feeling that cfs is somehow tied to repressed pain and trauma.  I believe healing the heart and spirit will lead to healing in the body.
 
2.. I must allow myself to experience my pain, I must release.  We wounded souls become adept at dodging our pain, working around it, rising above it, even praying our way through it.  I've known for years that I need to open up those wounded places and face them in the cold light of day, after all they have always found a way to come out, in nightmares, in depression, in angry outbursts, in cfs.   I've tried writing many times but some demons are so hard to face, some memories are too painful.
 
One story has been playing in my mind for months.  It starts with a young woman attempting suicide and as she lay dying her inner child is released and an angel comes to her and walks her through the most painful scenes in her life, reframing each one so she hears the messages she so desperately needs to hear.  How healing is each message from my personal angel.
 
3..I must forgive.  I am learning that forgiveness is a journey not a destination.  Some things I must forgive over and over until all the hurt is cleared from my spirit.  Now I understand why Jesus said we need to do it 70 times 7. 
 
4.. I must be grateful.  I am grateful for the journey and for the lessons learnt.  I am grateful to be growing in faith and in hope and in certainty.  I am grateful to still be here because as long as I breathe the battle is not lost.  I am grateful for grace.
 
5..I must serve.  The biggest blessing of cfs for me is..after everything I thought was important was stripped from me..understanding that my true desire is to serve.  We are each called to the sevice of divine Love.  I have a work to do and this journey is necessary to my preparation.  I believe my service of love starts with myself.
 
So as I allow my body, my heart and my spirit to heal today, I feel the fatigue, the brain fog, the irritability, the acid seeping into my joints .. I can't say I like the process but I surrender to it with grace.
 
Blessings my DS friends, may your day be healing also.