Listen, its an addiction, and until you take your recovery, seriously, and work a program of recovery, one day at a time, then, the addiction will continue. Its not easy, This addiction is one of the hardest battles I\'ve had in my lifetime, but, its a battle, and each day I wake up and I don\'t place a bet, is a better day. It will be with me, forever, but, I am working my recovery, each day, and when I have a few months without gambling, and my head tells me, its okay to go, just for a little while, or I tell myself, that I have it under control, or I will just take a little bit of money, or I will go and stop after two hours, etc., etc., etc., I know its the addiction talking. Its hard to swipe it out of your brain, your mind, when it hits, that\'s why its super important, to reach out, to get to meetings, to raise your hand, ask for a sponsor, don\'t let ego get in the way of this addiction, but I assure you, it will get to you, again, and again and again. Don\'t beat yourself up. Don\'t wallow in the dark place we all have gone to after we gamble, again. This time, do recovery. The lifetime ban saved my ass, card rooms are different than casinos, once you ban from a card room, its sent to the state gaming, and you are registered as a banned player. Casinos, you would need to go into each one to ban yourself, but do it, and mark the box, \"lifetime\" ban. Its a start. I thought I would be so empty, doing it, because it meant, I couldn\'t go back.... that freaked me out. But, once I did it, it was liberating. Of course, you need to do the footwork, it means walking in, telling the manager what you want to do, and going through the process. It means, you need to get to a meeting, raise your hand, and say, you need help. The work, is hard, but the rewards are betting than any win, you could ever have in a card room or a casino. You got this, one day, one step at a time. xoxoxox
Thank you Leap for your kind words and unconditional support. I will find a meeting tomorrow. I have to for my own sanity. You are truly an angel my angel. Thanks for always answering my text messages. Just when I think I am hanging on to the cliff your words always make me want to climb back up. I am so tired of being tired. And after spending the last 24 hours in a poker room truly exhausted. Thank you for always bring there when I need you. We may have never met but I feel closer to you thank some of my good friends who don\'t understand this illness. Starting over once again with hope that it has to be better than it is right at this moment. xoxoxo Chargergirl
Hi Chargergirl, thanks for the great journal. I was curious if you live anywhere near San Diego, CA. Let me know if you do. Maybe we could meet up in person to help support eacheck other. Thanks- Debbie
Replies
Listen, its an addiction, and until you take your recovery, seriously, and work a program of recovery, one day at a time, then, the addiction will continue. Its not easy, This addiction is one of the hardest battles I\'ve had in my lifetime, but, its a battle, and each day I wake up and I don\'t place a bet, is a better day. It will be with me, forever, but, I am working my recovery, each day, and when I have a few months without gambling, and my head tells me, its okay to go, just for a little while, or I tell myself, that I have it under control, or I will just take a little bit of money, or I will go and stop after two hours, etc., etc., etc., I know its the addiction talking. Its hard to swipe it out of your brain, your mind, when it hits, that\'s why its super important, to reach out, to get to meetings, to raise your hand, ask for a sponsor, don\'t let ego get in the way of this addiction, but I assure you, it will get to you, again, and again and again. Don\'t beat yourself up. Don\'t wallow in the dark place we all have gone to after we gamble, again. This time, do recovery. The lifetime ban saved my ass, card rooms are different than casinos, once you ban from a card room, its sent to the state gaming, and you are registered as a banned player. Casinos, you would need to go into each one to ban yourself, but do it, and mark the box, \"lifetime\" ban. Its a start. I thought I would be so empty, doing it, because it meant, I couldn\'t go back.... that freaked me out. But, once I did it, it was liberating. Of course, you need to do the footwork, it means walking in, telling the manager what you want to do, and going through the process. It means, you need to get to a meeting, raise your hand, and say, you need help. The work, is hard, but the rewards are betting than any win, you could ever have in a card room or a casino. You got this, one day, one step at a time. xoxoxox
Thank you Leap for your kind words and unconditional support. I will find a meeting tomorrow. I have to for my own sanity. You are truly an angel my angel. Thanks for always answering my text messages. Just when I think I am hanging on to the cliff your words always make me want to climb back up. I am so tired of being tired. And after spending the last 24 hours in a poker room truly exhausted. Thank you for always bring there when I need you. We may have never met but I feel closer to you thank some of my good friends who don\'t understand this illness. Starting over once again with hope that it has to be better than it is right at this moment. xoxoxo Chargergirl
Hi Chargergirl, thanks for the great journal. I was curious if you live anywhere near San Diego, CA. Let me know if you do. Maybe we could meet up in person to help support eacheck other. Thanks- Debbie