Getting out

Well, I went out with my friend and her daughter yesterday to get a dress for her homecoming dance.  She's a freshman in high school and just a sweet girl.  She loved the first dress she tried on and ended up getting it.  We picked out a pair of shoes and some jewelry to go with it.  She's going to knock those guys right off their feet!  Went out to lunch afterwards then came home.  I did alright.  I was kind of quiet at lunch, but at least I didn't break down and cry.  When I got back to the house I threw on some old clothes and headed for the garage.  I felt so close to Gene in there.  I cleaned off one of his workbenches then went and sat on the motorcycle we use to ride together.  I could almost feel him with me.  I tried to go through some things in our room last night but ended up totally losing it when I opened the closet.  There are just some things I am not ready to face and his clothes seem to be the biggest hurdle I'll have to overcome one day.  He had a drawer in the kitchen where he used to empty his pockets when he came home and I found a load of change in there.  I ended up wrapping nickels, dimes and quarters last night.  It was all I could do to get through it.  I threw out some old candy bars I found in there then just put everything else back the way I found it.  I need to remind myself every day that it will all get done when the time is right.  I seem to be pushing myself these days to do what my heart isn't ready to do.  I talked with my sister in law yesterday about the holidays.  I don't know how I'm going to face them this year.  She gave me an open invitation to her house, but right now I can't even think about it.

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Oh I so get that holiday\'s thing....yikes I can\'t even face Halloween this year.