Getting better and I didn't even know it.
My name is Holly and I have been battling alcohol for a little over 10 years. The majority of my life has been spent working temporary jobs just long enough to pick up my guitar and do gigs as much as possible with whatever band I was in. The other part of my life has been spent feeding my addiction of alcohol, and doing everything from selling one of my guitars to get drunk on New Years' Eve, to giving up a place to stay so that I could live at the bar. And yes, I said LIVE.
I am 26 years old now and I have been drinking since I was 13. Technically, cocaine was the first drug that I tried, but this support group is not for cocaine so I will try to stay on the subject. I met an older boy at a very young age that was destructive, addictive, and in every word of the sense a criminal. Anxious to try anything, I jumped at the opportunity to experience something new and different.
For a few years I could take or leave alcohol. I could drink all night long at a party or go strong for days at a time and come back to my parents house and eat all day long without even wanting a drink. But after I graduated high school, I moved out into an apartment and was up to a 12 pack a night. My best friend at the time knew a guy who was a few years older than us and he would party constantly, especially at our apartment so we gave him money and he bought us whatever beer we said.
About a year goes by and I'm still at a 12 pack, so I'm thinking, "Ok, I know that I need a drink every night, but I'm still going to work and as long as it doesn't conflict with me coming into work, it's no big deal, right?" WRONG.
So the lease is up and we move into this HUGE house that is caddy corner from a bar. ( go figure). A few months go by and I lose my job, so, desperate for paying bills and supplying alcohol for myself and my boyfriend, I work these horrible paid-today side jobs with 14 other men whistling at every body part I had for about 8 hours. So days and days go by until finally, we get evicted due to half of us only being able to pay rent, and I move back into my parents again.
Up until this point I was making a little extra money on the side with the band, but not enough for me to live on my own. Finally I hit 21 and OH MY GOD!. I'm sure we all know how that is, but by the time I had hit 21 I was up to about a case a day of alcohol by myself and of course, it just got worse after I got legal. The thing is is that I am a very talented musician and can play just about any song you could give me, ( if you could give me time,) but all I wanted to do was go to the bar. At first I thought that it was the rush of meeting new people and having conversations with intellectual, awesome people, ya know? But one day I was sitting with a man for a few minutes, talking and what not and he asked me why I was drinking so much and I didn't understand what he said until he told me I had about 5 tonics in 15 minutes!
A about a year later I left the band and lost my house. I drank at the bar every day from 5:30 am til 1 in the morning every night for about 6 months and slept on a playground. Since then I have fallen in and out of having no home, no job, and no place to stay. But this IS positive and I have drastically improved in the last month or so. I find that I don't drink as often as long as I have something to do and since I love to play, I just pick up my guitar. If you don't like music, my advice would be to find a hobby or something to be passionate about and it will do wonders for your life.
I wish all of you the best of recovery and I am looking forward to speaking with you in the support group.
Best of luck
Holly D.
I am 26 years old now and I have been drinking since I was 13. Technically, cocaine was the first drug that I tried, but this support group is not for cocaine so I will try to stay on the subject. I met an older boy at a very young age that was destructive, addictive, and in every word of the sense a criminal. Anxious to try anything, I jumped at the opportunity to experience something new and different.
For a few years I could take or leave alcohol. I could drink all night long at a party or go strong for days at a time and come back to my parents house and eat all day long without even wanting a drink. But after I graduated high school, I moved out into an apartment and was up to a 12 pack a night. My best friend at the time knew a guy who was a few years older than us and he would party constantly, especially at our apartment so we gave him money and he bought us whatever beer we said.
About a year goes by and I'm still at a 12 pack, so I'm thinking, "Ok, I know that I need a drink every night, but I'm still going to work and as long as it doesn't conflict with me coming into work, it's no big deal, right?" WRONG.
So the lease is up and we move into this HUGE house that is caddy corner from a bar. ( go figure). A few months go by and I lose my job, so, desperate for paying bills and supplying alcohol for myself and my boyfriend, I work these horrible paid-today side jobs with 14 other men whistling at every body part I had for about 8 hours. So days and days go by until finally, we get evicted due to half of us only being able to pay rent, and I move back into my parents again.
Up until this point I was making a little extra money on the side with the band, but not enough for me to live on my own. Finally I hit 21 and OH MY GOD!. I'm sure we all know how that is, but by the time I had hit 21 I was up to about a case a day of alcohol by myself and of course, it just got worse after I got legal. The thing is is that I am a very talented musician and can play just about any song you could give me, ( if you could give me time,) but all I wanted to do was go to the bar. At first I thought that it was the rush of meeting new people and having conversations with intellectual, awesome people, ya know? But one day I was sitting with a man for a few minutes, talking and what not and he asked me why I was drinking so much and I didn't understand what he said until he told me I had about 5 tonics in 15 minutes!
A about a year later I left the band and lost my house. I drank at the bar every day from 5:30 am til 1 in the morning every night for about 6 months and slept on a playground. Since then I have fallen in and out of having no home, no job, and no place to stay. But this IS positive and I have drastically improved in the last month or so. I find that I don't drink as often as long as I have something to do and since I love to play, I just pick up my guitar. If you don't like music, my advice would be to find a hobby or something to be passionate about and it will do wonders for your life.
I wish all of you the best of recovery and I am looking forward to speaking with you in the support group.
Best of luck
Holly D.
Replies