Funny Stuff -- Nuggets of Wisdom

This is courtesy of Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum/vitality101.com:
A relationship is the opportunity to do something you hate with someone you love. The inventor of shag carpet made a big pile. A Tattoo is permanent proof of temporary insanity. A magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. A cannibal is person who likes to see other people stewed. A shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death. It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you're done. The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut. To make a long story short, don't tell it. Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction. A giraffe's family reunion is called "necks of kin." A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired. Never argue with a fool. He may be doing the same thing. The best way to keep your word is to not give it. A man's last will and testament is a dead give away. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.