Friday...yeah-anxiety-extra dose

I did not write yesterday...had an awful anxiety attack as soon as I woke up...so bad I wondered at first if I was actually sick...tried to eat breakfast but couldnt eat ..didn't think it was going to stay down but I knew I had a quiz last night so I made myself go to work anyway and after my meds kicked in I started to feel better...sure enough it was just good old anxiety.  I will never be free...I only pretend to be ok but it always comes back with a vengeance.  He was actually nice to me yesterday..seemed understanding but today he's back to being grumpy with me.  Oh well, nice while it lasted I guess.  Today it is all under control but I feel sad that it still has it's grip and lonely..I will never be normal again.  My back hurts quite a lot today and I should probably go work out but I still feel tired from yesterday.