Friday sept 16th

I think I am defective in the emotion department.  My mom has been in tears over the death of my grandfather.  I am a little sad but no where near where she is...it's not like any of us were close to him.  He always lived his own life.  He always took every opportunity to push my mom's buttons..not sure why that is but he would always make some comment to remind her that she is adopted and not blood relation or like even at the end he kept telling her over and over that he made some cousins executors of his estate because they were THERE. 
Turns out they didn't really know what his last wishes were either.  I told her I don't think he was any closer to them than he was to us..he just wanted her to think that.  I think the only people who were close to him were the people at the bingo where he went every day the last ten years of his life and volunteered.
Still, he was my grandfather...shouldn't I be feeling more?  maybe I am just numb all over now...