Friday-One of those mornings

It is one of those crappy mornings.  He came in and woke me up late and said it's 530.  Yep, been turning my alarm off in my sleep again.  I get up and pour a cup of coffee.  He goes and starts to get ready.  After slamming a cup of coffee, I get up and start to make my lunch and fill my thermos.  He's still in the bathroom.  I get all my clothes laid out and fill the water bowl for the animals.  He's still in the bathroom.  I can hear he is brushing his teeth so I open the door and grab some of my stuff and take it into the other bathroom.  He's says sorry.  I don't say anything, I just go in the other bathroom and start to get ready.  I put in my contacts and brush my teeth and hair.  He's still in the bathroom, so I start to get dressed thinking I just wont weigh in this morning.  As I am dressing he finally comes out and says sorry again.  It doesn't sound sincere. It sounds more like I am annoying him.  He says I thought you wouldn't go in til 730 today.  I have been sliding in a few hours of overtime when I can to make up for his shortage, but I don't say that. It would be mean.  I just say uh huh and keep dressing.  He says...what does that mean?  I say, you always say you are sorry and then you just do it again.  He says again he thought I would go in late. I say, but you didn't ask.  He snaps and snarls and walks off to the other room.  I just go into the bathroom and keep getting ready and say: So now you are mad at ME?  Hilarious!  He comes back after a few minutes with a peck and a soft have a nice day. 

I tell myself we are both tired and just let it go.  I take a few deep breaths and imagine the anger flowing out of me but it feels more like I am stuffing it down.  I am thinking to myself, he is not going to dictate MY work schedule.  As I let the dog out one last time, I can feel the anger still swirling under the surface and feel like I am going to throw up.  I close my eyes and take slow, deep breaths of the cool morning air, once again imagining the anger flowing out of me. Nope, not working.

When I get in the truck to drive to work I don't even turn the radio up.  I just keep breathing and try to focus on the traffic.  I feel a little better, but it's still hanging in the background somewhat.  I just keep thinking this does not have to be a fight. He could just get ready in the other bathroom.  He's a guy, he doesn't need the better light like I do.  I keep thinking it's just another control thing.  Don't try to control me you dumb fucker, I see right through it. 

Yesterday, the new HR lady was sounding stuffy.  I said, Allergies getting to you too?  She says, no, I think I am getting sick.  I tell her that the rules of the company is if you even think you are getting sick that you should go home.  The owner of the company is 96 and still comes into the office.  They cannot afford for him to be catching things.  She says, I will just stay away from him.  This morning she is in the kitchen when I sit down to write this.  She is making the coffee and touching everything.  People have no concept of quarantine.  I feel like that is so rude.  I don't want it.  I do not have time to be sick.  I hate people.  I just need to get my compound in the desert and hang out with my pets.  I am really hoping that my boss will let me end my day down at the job site which is much closer to home.  Maybe I won't have a 45 minute commute tonight.  Happy Friday.