Following Magpie's Lead.....Gratitude/Desire/Braggs

Gratitude: I am grateful that I have this beautiful house in Thailand that I can afford without breaking my back.  Private, in nature, but close to the city.  It is old and beautiful and rustic and unlike my other houses, I don't have to worry about a landlord caring about what I do or squeezing every ounce of money out of me.  I have many cats and dogs that visit me and I know my neighbors.  One of my neighbors is one of my best friends I lived with in University 8 years ago.  And her boyfriend too that I knew lives with her.  We do not hang out all the time, but they are there for me and are my friends and have a huge community they network with and invite me in.  I am lucky to have this computer, phone, and money in bank.  I am afraid someone stole my motorbike that I just purchased and that jumped through some hoops to register, and it is really humbling me.  I left it parked in the city for 4 days while I was drunk. I'm very stupid to do this.  But what I am thinking is that I am lucky I did not get on the bike and kill myself or someone else.  Yes, I'm frustrated as fuck at myself....*extremely*, when i let myself think about i cry.  But here I am going to focus on gratitude.  I can get another bike.  It will be ok.  I am also lucky because I met a thai boy who is so kind and good and is a DJ and also has another job and he has been helping me try to find the bike, go to the police, etc..  I am so grateful to have met such an open, kind friend.   i am grateful i still have my job.  also, thankful i can be on this website and have a handful of people who understand my situation and actually take the time to reach out to me and offer advice.  

Desire: I desire to not be quite so emotional I think.  I think I let too much hurt me and it leaves me really estranged from people.  if i am angry about the state of the world, the economic unfairness, the matrix simulation that it is....i desire to just stop mulling over it and making me nihilistic and actually start to do something about....whether it be to create my designs or write about my thoughts and try to get it out there. any amount of people who are inspired or enlightened will be one more than is not.  I desire to not drink in excess anymore.  I desire to start work on my business plans that I hatched 4 months ago.  I desire for this boy to stay in my life and motivate me with his positive attitude and art.  i desire to take everything one day at a time and not get overwhelmed....which when that happens (almost daily) then i just get paralyzed by the sheer amount of goals and things i have to do and instead fuck off my time.

braggs: i am living in thailand. i have a lot of ideas and am always curious. i am in the position to do something worthwhile and fulfilling with my life.  i have many good friends, not a lot, but the ones i have and keep in contact with i love with my whole heart.  i have had many, many different life experiences that i am proud to have gone through, even though some of it has hurt me so much.  i feel like i am in the position to understand so many different ways of life.

*happiness is a choice*  *one day at a time*