Flipping switches
How can we be fine one minute and the world ending in the next?
I was in a pretty good mood when I left for work this morning. I had my music playing and I was singing along. No, I can't sing, that's why I do it in the car. Still, I belt it out like I can. Today while I went to take a deep breath for some high notes, I felt out of breath and things started to get fuzzy around the edges like I would pass out. Immediate panic as I thought I would pass out driving.
Now since I got to work my mood has progessively declined. I am shaky and irritable for no apparent reason. I am panicking on the inside...wtf is wrong with me now????? It's so fucking dumb. There is nothing wrong and it's friday...I should be in a good mood but I feel like I just want to cry...I can't of course..but I feel like I should.
It's like in that one moment in the car a switch flipped and now my whole day is becoming fucked up. Nothing at work is working out well this morning...everything I touch is a struggle. I hate it when I am like this. I will keep taking breaths and moving on and I know it will eventually pass but I feel so defeated...life is never going to be normal. I feel like I am going to throw up ...start to wonder if I might be sick?? no, I'm not. I'm just a FREAK. How did I get to be this THING??? FML
Replies
hugs and forget those negative feelings....feel the good wolf not the bad wolf.....hugs bill
lol. Let's join a FML club.
I think the thing to raelise is that you ARE normal. This is normal. we're all little experiments in a petrie dish. If we put this droplet in here, that happens. We're automatic. I sometimes wonder just how much of us even makes genuine choices, we're so driven by our biology and chemistry.
I'm guessing something's kicked off a need to cry. And when you've had the cry you'll know what that is. You're under a lot of pressure lately. I know I'm under a lot of background pressure at the moment; and so some tiny thing at work might trigger me. But as I go I get better. I sometimes think that anxiety attacks are what happens when reality hits your view of the world. it's the car crash you have when they collide. :D But when you've had it, afterwards, you have a new view.
Ie you get better. Always better. Always more realistic. and the more realistic you are the better life choices you can make. So therefore the more powerful you become and the better your life.
This might not be true but I like it. So I'm stickin with it. :D