First visit to the hospital since....
I went to the hospital today...the one I had my miscarriage at... My friend wanted me to visit so I decidedi'drather fight my demons on my own terms, when I chose to fight them..not when I'm forced to for whatever reason.. I was doing really well...went in, walked past the hall that leads to the mat ward and met up with my friend in the caf...we hung out for a couple hours, and as I walked out I decided I wanted to go to the mat ward...I got half way down the hall with the big MATERNITY sign straight ahead...but I stopped...I couldn't do it.. I turned around & walked out and left..I was proud of myself, I was doing well..and to get that close to the mat ward without crying... I left the hospital and as I walked away I saw an ambulace leaving the emergency entrance for ambulances and the flash backs began...I started crying... I just couldn't handle it... Now I'm in the tim hortons across the street...trying desperately to be okay again..but I'm struggling... It just hurts....
Replies
Hi dear, naturally this was a good idea to face off with your fears, and this is only a start to the matter; it may take many more attempts to get through this without becoming upset. I admire that you tried and kudos to your friend for encouraging this way as a method for closure...
Aelle
I also praise u for trying to do this u are very brave sweetie just remember take baby steps its ok to cry u will get stronger each day.
It breaks my heart as i know how u feel i wasn\'t here when my younger sister lost her girl at the age of 11 as i was going thru my first cancer.
Just want u to know i understand.
I Love u sweetie.
((((Angel))))..
Thank you both so much ry hard to go back..I had a lot of anxiety the night before and morning of, up until I walked through the doors. I know I will need to face that hospital again, and maybe next time I will make it to the end of the hall leading to the maternity ward.. If not actually make it all the way there.. I know it\'s something I need to do for myself, but it\'s going to be a struggle..
I\'m so sorry to hear what you & your sister went through Angel..I\'m here if you need to talk hun (hugs)
Hello dear friends!
Angel, you have my deepest and heartfelt care for the news of your sister...many strong holds of great comfort to both of you, ancinorev and angel.
Aelle