Finding myself

The last few weeks I've been thinking about who I am without Gene.  Finding myself seems to be so hard.  What do I really love?  What do I really hate?  What do I want to do with the rest of my life.  I can't just sit around watching TV and feeling sorry for myself.  I don't like my job so I've started looking for a new one.  I put my resume up on Monster and got a hit.  They called me today so I need to call them back tomorrow.  I don't know anything about what they are offering but I'm curious to find out. 
I know I hate to wash my car and rake leaves.  I know I love where I live and I can't imagine living anywhere else.  I love to garden, but I hate to weed.  I like to travel to see my friends and feel really good when I'm around them.  I love to take care of the yard and feel gratification when it looks really good.  I like when my house is clean but haven't had much motivation to do it for myself.  I did everything when Gene was alive because he was here and I wanted to make a nice home for him and my son.  With Gene gone and my son moved out, I'm satisfied with the house being neat but not necessarily as clean as I used to keep it.
That's about as much as I've been able to come up with for now.  My goal is to find the motivation to do things for myself.
 

Replies

JudiB
JudiB

I, for one, give you an A+ for just trying...that\'s as good as it gets for now...it\'s okay to not care sometimes. It\'s okay to do what you feel like doing and nothing more. It\'s okay to just sit back and look at it all and tell yourself you WILL get to it when you feel like it. Whatever you are feeling - it\'s absolutely okay! Do not beat yourself up for not being able to any more than what you are doing. When the time is right you will get to it and in the meantime it is all okay...exactly what you are doing and where you are now. Good luck with the new job thing. I believe you can do anything you set your mind to do. Hugs, hugs and more hugs, Judi
deleted_user
deleted_user

I second that A+....I think just asking yourself these questions is a sign of healthy thinking and moving forward!