Feeling OK
Well, i drank two different nights in the past week. both nights i didn't get too fucked up nor lose anything or screw anything up nor wake up in the morning and drink. overall, i wish i hadn't drank, but i did and i'm happy nothing bad happened. i am trying to stay sober for the next month or two though.
i'm actually not really in a journaling mood. i shaved some of my hair on the side of my head.....i look cool i think. today i am going to get a tattoo behind my ear and one on my foot. also goign to go the market to pick up some stuff for my sewing.
i feel lonely. i should go to AA too. i just always have all this shit i want to do and never get to because i'm lazy. in a week and a half i'm going down to bangkok for a few days to see a documentary at an art gallery, and i will say i'm very excited about this. man why do i feel so apathetic right now?? gonna do some yoga and then get ready for the day, go the market and pick up some stuff for my sewing and then go to the tattoo parlor. i teach tonight too.
well, i guess that's it. maybe i will write more later.
Replies
I was like you for several years. Wanting to quit, but not ready to quit. One day I had an epiphany and I was ready. I have been sober since. Don't give up. Supplement the yoga with some insight meditation. You only need to do 15 minutes a day. That will help you to get to know yourself. Meanwhile don't feel bad about relapses. It is part of the process of recovery.
I'm with Impermanence. Also I am with you. Relapsing. I hate it. I'm glad nothing was lost. That you didn't get to far into the bottle. I'm been thinking about going back to the AA online group. It's called Intherooms. It was helpful when I did it. Even though I was more of a voyeur than a talker. I was turned off by all the gross men that just wanted to have some online sex. From the first day I joined. The good thing about it was they had live video meetings every hour. Anyway just a thought for you if you want to go to AA but don't want to leave your house to do it.