Feeling low

Yesterday evening Colin and I attempted to have sex with a special sex chair designed for paraplegics. Just like before, it failed terribly. Angles don't work, hurts my knees, etc. We moved to the bed and continued foreplay, but my back/hip spasmed during and the pain sent shockwaves through me. My whole body siezed, he didn't realize, and I was detrimentally triggered. He thinks I orgasmed, but really I just needed the pain to stop. Everything hurt. He joked about it, and I told him I was in pain and that the pain triggered me. We laid there, me with my face burried in the pillow, crying. I ate junk food to make myself feel better in the moment, but I feel worse today. I'm emotionally drained, on the verge of tears, and wanting nothing and no one to come near me.