Feeling guilty but it's not my fault...
I met this guy online and we instantly hit it off via text, I felt incredible and I knew I was going to fall for him in time.. Well less than a week of talking he tells me he loves me, I was nice about it and said I really like him too while knowing he was confusing his feelings of infatuation with love, which is fine, we've all made the mistake of feeling like we're in love when we aren't (only to realize it later). Well one night I'm having a horrible horrible day and he tells me he's in love with me and whatnot and I said I didnt want to invalidate his feelings but it isn't possible to truely love someone you don't really know... I was wanting to open up to him so he could really get to know me but he flipped out and didn't want to speak to me anymore and ended things... He then told me days later he wanted to kill himself and was saying goodbye.. I talked to him and made him tell me he wouldn't do it.. But today when I texted his phone I found out he gave it to someone else... The person who responded ..... Is Christian's ex drug dealer..and he has his phone so they can communicate.. He said thank you to me because I gave him his best customer back.. Said I broke Chris' heart... I feel so guilty... I care about christian a lot, he was sober and doing really well.. Hurts me to know he went back to drugs when he was getting his life on track. I was essentially told I'm to blame..and it kills me... I know it isn't my fault, I tried to keep talking to Chris, I wanted to still be here for him.. He shut me out and there's nothing I can do.
Replies
Definitely not your fault. You have to realize that there are a lot of people with mental illnesses or with deep issues that have to be addressed. This is probably why meeting online can be harmful and potentially dangerous. If anything, you can learn something from this experience. If possible, maybe set up some in person dates before letting the relationship progress. You have to understand that there are a lot of lonely people out there looking for \"love\". Actually, a lot of so called lonely, desperate people are looking for validation. Word of advice to women, if a man is looking to be validated by you, RUN!!! A real man isn\'t t seeking a woman to validate him. He is already sure of himself and is looking for someone to share life with. Again, very difficult to do online, but I\'ve seen people experience success with this. Don\'t feel bad for this guy going back to drugs. People have to own up to their own decisions and take responsibility for their lives.
Thanks radicrog, I really appreciate you saying that. We were supposed to be meeting in person the day before everything went down, I guess it\'s just hard knowing he fell off the wagon and being told it was my fault, I have trouble with alcohol so I know how painful it can be when you slip... I wish I could help him but there\'s really nothing I can do, he needs to help himself.