Feeling Good

It's such a contrast to last week, this feeling. I can't explain it, I suddenly feel like a weight has been lifted, the clouds have parted, and I can live my life again. It wasn't a long stint of feeling depressed, or maybe it was and I didn't notice? I definitely didn't feel up to doing as much as I usually do, but last week I hit a new low. A low I haven't felt in a long time. I hurt my back at work on Monday, saw my doctor Tuesday, and here I am, off for the week (possibly longer). I think I needed the break; I was beginning to feel extremely overwhelmed. I felt suffocated by pressure, I developed such a strong bond with my coworker in the past few weeks, you'd think we'd been friends for years. It was really one specific day that made all the difference. 

She knew I was having a hard time with a client, she knew I was overwhelmed, and she chose to visit me at the office instead of going home. I was so overwhelmed, and suddenly I saw her walking up to the door. She walked in, looked at me as I stood up, and asked "I thought you might need a hug" ... those words, I almost cried, and I hugged her and didn't want to let go. She knew I needed it. She knew I was close to crying. We had a bitch-fest, she talked me off the prevurbial ledge, and reassured me that I was doing everything I could. She spent time with me when she had no obligation to. I cried almost every day that week, and she made herself available to me every day that week. Even now that I'm injured, she's checking in, asking how I am, and reassuring me that I need to take the time to recover. Let someone else take the work burden for a bit. 

I just feel so relieved. I suddenly have a libido again, despite my pain. Typically when I'm in pain I can't bring myself to feel aroused at anything - but yesterday I suddenly felt it. It came back. I had been feeling depressed about trying for a baby, feeling depressed about it not working, my body began to shut down, but I'm alive again. I'm in no shape to try making a baby, unfortunately, but feeling the desire reawaken... it feels incredible. I feel like myself again.