Feeling anxious and slightly irritated...

So, I just finished playing an online PS4 game with my other half and his buddy...and I fucking hated it!  I hated it because I don't like not knowing how to play something and I don't want it explained to me on how to play certain stats.  It just fucking irritates me.  I seriously had an anxiety attack in the middle of the damn game!  I don't like feeling like I'm inferior.  I mean, who does??  Every time I try to play with other people whom I think are better than me, I can't stand it and just want to jump out of my skin...I even feel like crying.
It seems childish, but I can't help how I feel.  It creates chaos in my mind.  I fucking hate it!!!!!!!!!  I'm gonna get back on, but I'm not playing with them.  Fuck no.  I hate playing with other people, especially people that know me.  I've always been this way.  People make me want to jump out of my skin because I feel so uncomfortable.  It's like anal sex...I don't fucking enjoy that shit, but others do.