Fed up
I have had them for 10 months in my anus I never new what it was and did not think much about it till a friend told me I should get it looked at so I did. After finding out on 1/31/12 that I got warts it really scared me a lot so I was told not to have sex till the warts are gone. OK NP so what shall we do doc? he sprayed my anus with that Nitro it sting some what but was OK after the 3rd visit I'm told so sorry the treatment has not done one thing for you! Oh just great now what? He tells me I need to see a dermatologist and that he could put a needle in my ass with some kind of drug that will kill the wart? I am think what the F are you telling me that dose not sound to fun to me! So OK I check when I can see the dermatologist some time in late June ahh that is nuts! I'm so upset thinking why even both doing any of this? I tell my GP I read Studies show that 90% of individuals are able to clear HPV when exposed in 2 years I ask him is that with treatment? He says no its with doing nothing at all. So why am I going though hell having treatment when your body can clear it in 2 maybe 3 years. I am so messed up I just don't know what to do anymore.03/1/12
Replies
June 4
Its been 10 days in a row that I\'m getting a full night of sleep no itch or some nights I feel it but I fall back asleep it seems to be calming down a lot and I have done nothing at all for it! I wonder if its my body fighting it now I sure hope so! Next week I see a surgeon he will tell me what he thinks and what he will do I am uneasy about this. I don\'t like the though of having my ass laser and will this be more damaging to my body? Many things to ask him. Or maybe to just live with it for now its not really changed anything in my life
and if I can just get something for days when it dose get itch like a cream that be ok too maybe one more year and it could clear up on its own?
June 4
does anyone read this? if so say hello or say something don\'t be shy :}
well i\'m feeling better about my hpv is a part of me and not much has changed other then the itch has gone down a lot so happy about that it seems to be less but I\'m not really sure. I will be seeing a surgeon in 6 days I\'m a bit uneasy about going in a hospital I get really nerves there so its going to take a lot out of me but I hope its a good surgeon that can explain what he will do and when he will remove them I am scared to death! to go though with it and if it comes back its going to be a big blow on me so I\'m trying to brace myself for that too.
June 14
saw a surgeon he was not a nice guy he refused to talk to me in English till I had to tell him to! he rammed some kind of tool in my butt to keep it open then shoved his finger in me ouch i said he could care less! then he said I will burn them off we will put a needle in your back to freeze you after 30 days I will look and see if they came back which they will and will put cream I tried to ask him a few things he got up walk out of the room! I don\'t think I will get it done by that ass doctor! so I\'m very down now
June 16
I am so upset how bad the doctors are in Montreal they know NOTHING about HPV I know more then them that is crazy! I have had my warts for one year one month and i have a bad feeling its going to take me another 6 months to find a doctor that KNOWS how to treat this and is kind and understanding to there clients. my bet is I will have this well past 2013 :(
June 29
Saw my GP had a long talk with him about the surgeon I was sent to see. so I found on my own a new surgeon and he gave me the ref paper I needed. he looking inside my anus and sprayed it with the nitro to see if that will help till I see the new surgeon I guess. He told me I should get the Gardasil shot that it could help prevent getting anal cancer I\'m not to sure about that part? I will hold off on it till I see a surgeon and what he thinks as well as do a biopsy so I know which strain I have. The GP said that I should get the hepatitis A & B shots there FREE for gay men. I called the new surgeon I will see him July 17 so lets hope this time around it will go better then the last one!
July 15th
saw my GP ask him if I will have this forever he said NO once I get the surgery and there removed he said the chance is low for it to come back. I sure hope he is right I do know many others that went though all this and it has never come back so that is GREAT NEWS! GP said just get all your shots and safe sex only or there is a chance you can get it again I have learn my lesson and I thank God its only warts it sure could have been worst! Time will clear this from my body eat well and be HAPPY laugh LOTS this is how to get better I think and yeah find a lover that loves all of you warts and all there is lots of open minded people out there just be open about this right away that is my though for today. I\'ll let you all know what happens in 2 days I hope for the best one day at a time.
I hope for the best for you! I just want my dr.app to be over too, been freakin out some, but I feel good, it just, we\'re so different in whats goin on here. I\'d be going nuts too, and to have a doctor treat you so evil. :(
I\'m tryin to think positive!! I have alot on my plate, as you do too! Here\'s hoping for all the happy, and all the lucky, and all the love, and all the *all betters*! *hugs*
July 17
Saw the new surgeon boy he was young just got out of med school. Anyway he explain to me how it was not a big deal having them burnt off and that I\'d be up and running in a week that was good to hear! So then he says OK lets take a look at your warts and he looks inside and I hear OH you have a lot of warts I can\'t do I\'m not skilled for the inside warts! So now I\'m back waiting to hear from a 3rd surgeon oh and he told me that I could end up waiting 3 to 5 years to have them removed! I am not waiting that long its been 14 months now with zero treatment the way my luck is going I\'ll end up hearing some doctor say Oh if you had this removed sooner you would not have cancer I don\'t want to hear that I want them OFF of me now. I am thinking to go to the USA and see how much this would cost me to get them removed if anyone knows please message me.
July 18
Well yesterday I started getting the hepatitis shots there free for gay men a saving of 336.00 cool! also started getting the Gardasil shot that I have to pay for oh well LOL I\'m glad I\'m getting it now if I could just hear a surgeon say oh NP this is easy to fix you up and do it I\'d be happy. but to hear yesterday that it could take 3 to 5 years to get them removed has put me is a very bad place I have never been so down over something as bad as this! medicare in Canada does not work anymore you wait for ever to see a GP and get anything done!
July 19
I am FED UP I hate this virus I hate myself I hate doctors right now even though I need one badly. I want to crawl under a rock and stay there.
Amen. I hate this *&^* too. Seriously, I really did work in an OR (still a nurse at a hospital just not in the OR anymore). Do not be afraid of surgery. Yes, you wll have pain afterwards-- you would with any surgery. You will get pain meds. You will absolutely have to drink your fluids and take your stuf to make going to the bathroom less uncomfortable until you heal. But you will heal. And you will get a fresh start. As for the acid treatment--I have had that done to my vajayjay which is mucosal tissue like the anus and it was not a big deal. I think it helps to know you are doing something, I was scared the first time too. I think we are the guinea pigs here--in 10 or 20 years maybe they (the Drs) will know what is a wart and what is not and maybe there will be an aniviral like for herpes or HIV and maybe there will be some sort of OTC treatment. Seem llike hey have come a long ways with herpes. Regardless--we have to remind ourselves that we will be ok. Because we will. We are good people and we have good people in our lives that love us as is.
Wow thanks for the input of hope I am scared to death of having my ass laser pain I think I can Handel that but really not sure when it comes to going to the washroom that sounds like there is going to be some pain and washing after. I am going nuts waitting to see a surgeon someone told me the wait can be years before I can get in the O.R. I worry this will spread to the from of me yet I\'ve had it for over a year and it has not but still makes you go crazy!! I just want this nightwear to be over with! Maybe god is punishing me for not going to mass I was to busy playing with all the cute boys. Ok not really but just feel like we are going though this for a reason and in the end it will make us better person and more understanding to others and there health problems?
You know another, I struggle with alot of things and I wonder about God. I believe in God and I have to believe that he does not punish anyone. It would be hard to believe in God if I had to consider all the good people and the innocent people (abused children, children who get cancer--anyone) who have horrible things happen to them. I think we are born and while we do have a role in much of what happens I think some of it is dumb luck or dumb unluck. People are sexual beings. Love between two consenting people is good. I believe God made us all and God does not make mistakes. At times especially lately I have considered how this disease is/has changed me. I recognize that I could have something worse. This is embarassing and will probably make life have some rough spots but I will be ok. I am humbled. I am better educated. I am already less self-destructive (quit smoking--bad for hpv). I can\'t say I have run out and become a health nut but I am definately taking control of my body in other ways.
July 29
Well I got fed up waiting for the surgeon\'s office to call me for when I can be seen. So I went to the hospital thinking that might help move me up a bit LOL I was told that I will get a call in 3 or 4 months and that\'s only to book the date! Oh my God now we are are talking till next year this is making me go nuts! I\'m going to see my GP and ask if he can do some kind of treatments this sitting around doing nothing can\'t be good I think the warts will be staying in my skin cell really good and my chance to beat this could be less? the longer its with me.