falling back

I've been doing so well then all of a sudden today the tears started flowing and my heart aches for Gene.  No one will ever love me the way he did, and I him.  Just the thought that I'll never have that love again has sent me into a depressive state again.  I miss his touch and his kisses and most of all his hugs.  The ups and downs of all this are alarming.  I've never felt like this before and I don't know how to handle it all.  I swear if the real estate market was better I'd just sell the house and move back to New Jersey.  But that would be like running away from all the feelings and I know I have to experience them all to get through this with my sanity.

Replies

feliciac
feliciac

I\'m just so sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where I can\'t relate to the pain you are feeling, I can relate to feeling good and then all of the sudden out of nowhere BAM!!!!!!!!!!! Shoot, if I had the money I\'d move back to NJ too! Just know I love you and hope/pray tomorrow is a better day for you! XOXOXOXO
deleted_user
deleted_user

I do believe it\'s healthy to be feeling your feelings...something I read lately said by experiencing this level of sadness, we increase the amount of joy we will be able to feel someday. That hardly seems possible but I like the promise of it! Hang in there, I am right with you.
FallenAngel
FallenAngel

Thanks guys! Yesterday was 1 year, 7 months to the day since Gene died. Figure that\'s why it hit me so hard.