Faded Smile

I have always had social anxiety, At the doctor, grooming, with teachers, your friends, whatever... They asked anything or talked to me, I couldn't speak. I was terrified. 

So mother, remember back then when I was younger? Yeah, you used to tell me that I looked stupid when I laughed. They were nervous laughters...

Good news, I stopped that long ago.

So how do you like it now that I stopped smiling altogether? I don't laugh anymore... at all... better?

At least I don't look stupid now, huh?

But now you force me to smile. You tell me I'm cranky.

I'm with family, and friends... I HAVE to smile, am I right?

You want me to fake it, but then claim to be sad to know that my smile is fake, as my shrink tells you I have depression.

"What? Why? But she was the happiest child!"

That's right...

A stupid happy child.

And it's gone.