ENERGY!!!!!!!!!!!
SOOO MUCH ENERGY!!!!!!!!! And have been in such an AMAZING mood today!!!
I got in contact with someone from Arbor Place (place i had the job interview) today and they are going to get back to me. The two people in charge of hiring were out on vacation the past two weeks.
Things are going well. Had a good session with marisa today. I told my doctor about my thoughts regarding discharge today and he said, I want you to think and give me a definite day that you want to transfer to php. GAH he is SOOO not helping me here...i dont want to be the entire decider. i talked to marisa and my dietitan about it today as well. Marisa, my SW, asked me to througouhly think everything through and write it down for her. Then she will give me her opinion.
Below is what I have written and would like to give her tomorrow.
"
Next Friday, September 10, is the date that I have set in my mind to complete the entire program at Reflections. There are two different paths that my mind went down to come up with this specific date.
The first path that my mind went down is based upon the thoughts I had coming into the program and my feelings as to how I believe I am currently doing in this program. Coming in to this program my outside team and I had thought that I would be here for two weeks to get the nutrition I needed to be physically and mentally healthy enough to return to my outpatient team. I have been here past the time I had in my mind prior to coming here, and I accept the fact that more than two weeks is/will be beneficial for me. I have come to like the idea of having a ‘buffer’ to confirm the fact that I am ready to move forward. I know that I am in a much better mental and emotional state now, than when I first came in. I am ready to move forward and challenge myself by being in the real world and not in a secured environment. I am confident that I can succeed in following my treatment plans if I were to leave now, but as I have stated I do not want that. I want the extra time to confirm that I am ready because I do not want to risk anything. In addition to that, there is also the weight factor. I had a specific goal coming into this program, which I do not want to fall short of. I do feel positive that I can still reach that goal come September 9.
The second path that my mind has taken me down is the path of reality and timing. Although there is nothing critical saying that I must be discharged by a certain date, there are various things that have assisted me in coming to the decision that I stated in the beginning of this message. Besides the obvious reasons of me wanting to be home with Carlos and my babies, there are two others as well. The second reason is that my parents are leaving on the following Tuesday (September 13) to go to Germany for a few weeks. I would like to be able to spend some time with them prior to them leaving, and I think it would be beneficial for them and me to have some meals together right upon discharge. Having them around in addition to Carlos when I discharge will make the transition a lot easier and smoother. Lastly, Wednesday (August 31) morning I received the great information that I may be able to start my dream job in a few weeks! This was the best news I have received in a while! When I walked in to have my interview, I fell in love with the job immediately- I have been waiting for an opportunity like this to open up for me. With that in mind, I would like to be out prior to that time. I would like to be able to have time to settle into a good routine prior to starting that job.
With all that I have stated above, I feel confident with the time frame I mentioned in the beginning of this message. I would like to transition to the partial hospitalization program here as soon as possible. I say that because I want to make the most out of my time in php and I feel that I am ready. My ideal situation would be to switch over this Friday, September 02."
I got in contact with someone from Arbor Place (place i had the job interview) today and they are going to get back to me. The two people in charge of hiring were out on vacation the past two weeks.
Things are going well. Had a good session with marisa today. I told my doctor about my thoughts regarding discharge today and he said, I want you to think and give me a definite day that you want to transfer to php. GAH he is SOOO not helping me here...i dont want to be the entire decider. i talked to marisa and my dietitan about it today as well. Marisa, my SW, asked me to througouhly think everything through and write it down for her. Then she will give me her opinion.
Below is what I have written and would like to give her tomorrow.
"
Next Friday, September 10, is the date that I have set in my mind to complete the entire program at Reflections. There are two different paths that my mind went down to come up with this specific date.
The first path that my mind went down is based upon the thoughts I had coming into the program and my feelings as to how I believe I am currently doing in this program. Coming in to this program my outside team and I had thought that I would be here for two weeks to get the nutrition I needed to be physically and mentally healthy enough to return to my outpatient team. I have been here past the time I had in my mind prior to coming here, and I accept the fact that more than two weeks is/will be beneficial for me. I have come to like the idea of having a ‘buffer’ to confirm the fact that I am ready to move forward. I know that I am in a much better mental and emotional state now, than when I first came in. I am ready to move forward and challenge myself by being in the real world and not in a secured environment. I am confident that I can succeed in following my treatment plans if I were to leave now, but as I have stated I do not want that. I want the extra time to confirm that I am ready because I do not want to risk anything. In addition to that, there is also the weight factor. I had a specific goal coming into this program, which I do not want to fall short of. I do feel positive that I can still reach that goal come September 9.
The second path that my mind has taken me down is the path of reality and timing. Although there is nothing critical saying that I must be discharged by a certain date, there are various things that have assisted me in coming to the decision that I stated in the beginning of this message. Besides the obvious reasons of me wanting to be home with Carlos and my babies, there are two others as well. The second reason is that my parents are leaving on the following Tuesday (September 13) to go to Germany for a few weeks. I would like to be able to spend some time with them prior to them leaving, and I think it would be beneficial for them and me to have some meals together right upon discharge. Having them around in addition to Carlos when I discharge will make the transition a lot easier and smoother. Lastly, Wednesday (August 31) morning I received the great information that I may be able to start my dream job in a few weeks! This was the best news I have received in a while! When I walked in to have my interview, I fell in love with the job immediately- I have been waiting for an opportunity like this to open up for me. With that in mind, I would like to be out prior to that time. I would like to be able to have time to settle into a good routine prior to starting that job.
With all that I have stated above, I feel confident with the time frame I mentioned in the beginning of this message. I would like to transition to the partial hospitalization program here as soon as possible. I say that because I want to make the most out of my time in php and I feel that I am ready. My ideal situation would be to switch over this Friday, September 02."
Replies
wow, you have put a ton of thought into this decision. i think it was good that they had you make your mind up and for you to write it out as to why. if you are sure that you are stable enough to switch over, and your team seems to think so, then i hope they agree. kudos on the job!!!!!!!!! awesome, i am so happy for you! your life is falling into place now but remember you still have to work hard and ed wont go away just like that, i am confident that you can do this. love
Alrighty. I know I didn\'t believe it before but since my last stay I know it must be true if you discharge before 85% whatever that is for you you will not make it. You can tell yourself 10,000 times you will do it with your outside team but I can promise you you won\'t. So I hope 110 is your 85%. Ok the stuff with your parents is bullshit - sorry for being so brutal but every time when you are with them you go into a hyperstate of anxiety and I think it would be perfect if they would be gone before you discharge. I understand the dreamcharge but your health is the only thing that matters right now. So think long and hard what you want to do.
I was only slightly below 85% when I went in. So 110 is more than that. Its what Jill and my dietian here suggested. Then I still need to pack on a few more. Remember I\'m short!!