Emotional State
I think this is a side effect of my meds, but I am very emotional all the time. I see something on TV that is sad, I feel that I need to cry and I beat back tears nightly. This makes it hard to watch TV and to carry on a conversation as I tend to show a lot of emotion. Any suggestions on how to handle this and what is the root cause.
Replies
Are you certain this is not your emotional health being restored and all the things you were forced, commanded to beat into submission and regression while being a "tough man soldier" in the military....learning how to come back to a healthy light.
Showing emotion is not a weakness, it is not a sign of a weak man, it is a healthy thing. It is a necesary thing. When people bottle their emotions and lock them inside it tends to make Emotion Illnesses like oh I don't know, BiPolar Disorder and all it's nuances harder to control and the symptoms worse. Letting your emotions out in the open, letting them "breathe" and air out is never a bad thing.
Perhaps your emotional immune system is just learned how to air itself out and you need to learn to regulate it and know that it's okay to have and express emotion. Its a new world and your not a robot soldier anymore my friend.
i think it's good to be emotional as well. Maybe now, as Kat said, you are just rediscovering yourself. Share your emotional
life with folks you feel safe with - and let them be emotional with you as well... create safe space for both of you.
I know when we're at work we may feel the need to be professional and maybe even stoic but there's always room for our humanity at times. You'll discover such riches in our shared common trials of life. I get that from being here...
TDoc said the same thing. This feels wrong and too revealing. what will others think or how will I be judged? I still work in the military system and in fact, I work with special forces teams and you can imagine the number of touchy-feely killers there is. I feel very out of sort quite a bit of the time. What you say may be true but I don't think I can accept it.
it's not easy for me to find people I can be myself with and be emotional but I have found a few....so it's rare for
a lot of people...you'll have a greater value for the relationships you find? I am sorry if I sound preachy. I know it's hard
Thor. We're emotional beings and part of my journey is learning and accepting that we all have to manage our emotions
and energies - and managing stuff for ourselves comes in different shapes, forms, modalities. Realizing that has given me
a greater respect and appreciation. It's helped me find my tribe..
Spencer, change takes time. Its not an overnight thing.
I'm not an overly emotional person....I generally cry when I get so pissed off, I want to kill someone....or when Iron Man dies....always when Iron Man dies.
I'm not the overly touchy feelly type...but I love to laugh until I cry. My cat can crawl in my lap and make me melt on some days. Certain people in my life bring out an emotional side of me that on an everyday basis doesn't show itself. I'm not averse to emotion, I know it's okay to be emotional, I know I'm safe when I'm emotional and I know that I can be emotional and not lose control.
It's not about being a weeping, sissy mess all the time, it's about letting your feelings out and letting yourself have them. People cannot live as robots, they can't. You have not been living well as a robot, you've been existing and it's not been going all that well for you. Now things are going better and you're feeling and it's different and a little scary and a lot uncomfortable and you have to get used to the change. It takes time....its not a drill that you can master in a day or a weekend....it takes time and practice and learning how to live with "the feel of it."
S, when you learned to walk, it took a while. When I learned to snow ski, it took a while to control the skis. Same with emotions. Step by step, you will learn to express them when appropriate and control that expression when appropriate. You have simply entered a new territory. So many unshed tears have found their way to the surface. Shed away. Comforting hugs.
Thor2008,
Thank you (and anyone else on here who is in the military or is a Veteran) for doing what the rest of us would not. You have given up so much to work for a bigger cause. I have the freedoms I do because of the brave. Those emotions you speak of I believe are as much a part of life as the air we breathe, food we need and water we must drink. The tricky part is the military gave you a very specific set of skills and tools to use in situations I couldn't even begin to fathom. In context, those tools were exactly what you knew you could use at the time. Now, back in the civilian world, emotions are there because they are trying to tell you something. The message is for you, for your heart and your mind to understand. And, the tricky part about having the military training, tools and programming is allowing yourself to step outside of that and just be you. Some of us, have crazy strong emotions all the time (speaking for myself here). I'm constantly trying to balance myself out on a daily basis. Life is so turbulent but beautiful too especially when your personal trials or "divine storms" give you strength and insight through your own experiences. You can probably relate to other people who struggle too. There is not much emphasis put on understanding, processing and nurturing emotions. Many cultures put a lot of pressure on men to be stoic and not show pain, sorrow, frustration or excitement when happiness is flourishing. In my own family, there was NO mention of emotional health or well being. It simply wasn't on anyone's radar. I thing you are in a great position to see how important it is to be able to decompress, relax and set all that training aside. The thing is, emotions, your heart and soul will take whatever time they need to to heal. There's no pressure there. I don't believe things of quality can be rushed. Where matters of strong, surfacing emotions are concerned-be kind to yourself and take things slow. "Nice and easy does it every time." --- Frank Sinatra