email to ...samaritans again

im having awful feelings that are not even directed anymore
i guess it could be discribed as painfull in the way it drains the life out of me
and motivation
today i found myself back in bed away from it all
but it does not back off
 
people again are saying do nice things
do what you like to do
but i dont like to do anything
 
i feel like ive been running into a brick wall
and now i cant run anymore
 
if i were upset about a single thing in my life id get it
but i just feel so finished about everything
  
everything i see around me just seems so pointless
that i cant see away back
i cant even say to people how far i see this ,they wont get it
or would just say something stupid
 
ive never had a self sustaining feeling like this ,,,this bad
as in without clear grief
 
its like ive given up with everything
 
.im so glad its night now so i can pass out and not be here anymore