Early Recovery
Here on day 26. Saw my therapist today and she said to continue to take it easy on myself, to remind myself that "Early Recovery" is crucial. Essentially, these first 90 days are the framework for the rest of my life. The stronger a foundation I build, the better off I will be.
My "triggers" are shocking to me. When I'm overwhelmed at work, I gamble. When I know I am going to be overwhelmed at a social event where I'm not comfortable, I gamble beforehand or I make plans to gamble right after. When I'm tired or sad or in need of a pick me up, I gamble. When I'm feeling like I'm not living up to sky-high standards for my life, I gamble.
It's been 26 days, but each day I am learning more about myself and my triggers. It's shocking to realize what was driving me to gamble 3-7 days/week for the past nine years. But I'm also discovering new ways to cope: Walking. Getting a FitBit to track my daily steps. (Three miles, or 10,000 steps per day -- That's a distracting and fun and relaxing goal that takes time!) Art work. Reading. Running. Playing with the dogs. Just talking to people at work. Sipping a tea slowly. Meditating. Breathing. Preparing salads for myself. Figuring out new places to get salads!
I'm getting there. One step at a time. I think the hardest part is telling myself I don't have to be so "on" all of the time. I need to relax and recover.
My "triggers" are shocking to me. When I'm overwhelmed at work, I gamble. When I know I am going to be overwhelmed at a social event where I'm not comfortable, I gamble beforehand or I make plans to gamble right after. When I'm tired or sad or in need of a pick me up, I gamble. When I'm feeling like I'm not living up to sky-high standards for my life, I gamble.
It's been 26 days, but each day I am learning more about myself and my triggers. It's shocking to realize what was driving me to gamble 3-7 days/week for the past nine years. But I'm also discovering new ways to cope: Walking. Getting a FitBit to track my daily steps. (Three miles, or 10,000 steps per day -- That's a distracting and fun and relaxing goal that takes time!) Art work. Reading. Running. Playing with the dogs. Just talking to people at work. Sipping a tea slowly. Meditating. Breathing. Preparing salads for myself. Figuring out new places to get salads!
I'm getting there. One step at a time. I think the hardest part is telling myself I don't have to be so "on" all of the time. I need to relax and recover.
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