Drama Queen
What kind of person calls her own sister a "Drama Queen" while she is grieving the death of her child??? The same kind that disowns the eldest sister for supporting the "Drama Queen". What kind of man refuses to attend the funeral services of his first grandchild because of the way her mother, the "Drama Queen" dressed her??? What kind of woman marries a man with 2 children then systematically destroys her husbands relationship with them???
I am so f**king mad!!! I have come so far, suffered so much, survived so much...yet my father, step-mother and step-sister inspire such hatred, such vitriol...It actually makes me feel sick, literally sick, like I need to vomit for hours, get out all the poison they forced into me my entire life.
There is so much I was never allowed to speak of...as a child I had no choice but even as a grown woman I bought into the belief that as long as I pretended everything was okay it would be okay...I had to keep up the facade, because it was much too painful to look behind the curtain, not to mention embarrassing...how humiliating it would be to have people know how I had been treated. So I kept showing up at holidays, kept smiling for pictures, kept pretending. It was bad enough to treat myself that way, to let myself be treated that way...but I brought my child into the whole damn nightmare. I taught her to call the evil step-mother "Granny"... and slowly but surely she came to experience the same treatment, albeit in very small increments of time.
I wrote previously that I believed the ill treatment I had suffered in my early years influenced the kind of mother I became, to the detriment of my precious child. I still believe that...but I believe the worst thing of all was the silence, the secrets...we are very resilient, we can recover from most things, but you WILL NEVER RECOVER until you open your mouth and talk about your pain, scream about your pain. It has to come out, if necessary, over and over again.
I have lived much too long hiding secrets, worrying about how exposing lies would hurt others. I am tired of worrying about others. I am trying to survive the most horrible thing a mother can go through...I am going to do whatever I have to do.
I am so f**king mad!!! I have come so far, suffered so much, survived so much...yet my father, step-mother and step-sister inspire such hatred, such vitriol...It actually makes me feel sick, literally sick, like I need to vomit for hours, get out all the poison they forced into me my entire life.
There is so much I was never allowed to speak of...as a child I had no choice but even as a grown woman I bought into the belief that as long as I pretended everything was okay it would be okay...I had to keep up the facade, because it was much too painful to look behind the curtain, not to mention embarrassing...how humiliating it would be to have people know how I had been treated. So I kept showing up at holidays, kept smiling for pictures, kept pretending. It was bad enough to treat myself that way, to let myself be treated that way...but I brought my child into the whole damn nightmare. I taught her to call the evil step-mother "Granny"... and slowly but surely she came to experience the same treatment, albeit in very small increments of time.
I wrote previously that I believed the ill treatment I had suffered in my early years influenced the kind of mother I became, to the detriment of my precious child. I still believe that...but I believe the worst thing of all was the silence, the secrets...we are very resilient, we can recover from most things, but you WILL NEVER RECOVER until you open your mouth and talk about your pain, scream about your pain. It has to come out, if necessary, over and over again.
I have lived much too long hiding secrets, worrying about how exposing lies would hurt others. I am tired of worrying about others. I am trying to survive the most horrible thing a mother can go through...I am going to do whatever I have to do.
Replies
So many people are such dopes. I agree with our MOMs just stop any contact. It is best for u. We have to be able to live in this with some sense of peace. I pray this for you. Hugs, Kathy