Doom

The sense of impending doom hangs heavily over me right now. So many obligations, and so many failures. When will it all catch up to me?

At work I see my responsibilities being stripped away from me as more personnel are being hired. Is that a good thing? 

At home my children grow more and more distant. My wife tries so hard to keep the daily stresses of the home from me so that I don't obsess over them too. But I cannot help notice the distance that grows between us too. How much longer until even she cannot deal with me anymore? 

The reserves consume so much of my time. All of my friends have drifted away from lack of attention, leaving me only my buddies Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker. They keep me company. ULTRA, the NESCO, the deployment, all compressed to within the next six months. Not to mentioned the regular day to day requirements. Even if I wanted to quit, I can't for another two years.   

There is only so much of me to go around and that is all used up. I'm spent. I'm done. I'm sure that shows in my performance. How much longer before I lose everything because I cannot perform? That's all anyone wants out of me anyway: results. What happens when I cannot give enough results to statisfy? 

And no one asks about me. No one cares if I have the quiet time I need to recharge. Already, I forget the simplest things. It is taking me longer and longer to complete simple activities. My judgement and choices become poorer and poorer. I find myself losing focus and staring at a half complete screen of work only to find that five or ten minutes have passed. 

The string holding Damoclese's sword is worn. do I dare contemplate what it will take for it to snap?