Don't know how I feel about this holiday

Valentines Day is a strange holiday for me and I don't really like it.  Maybe because I'm not married and haven't had a girlfriend to celebrate it with in a long time.  So it really just reminds me I'm lonely.  That might be part of it, but mostly I don't think I like this holiday because in high school I had a girlfriend say she was leaving for my best friend on Valentines Day.  That really put a damper on the holiday.  Also, it may be because I know I will never have a family of my own.  If things were different I think I would make an excellent husband and father, but it wouldn't be fair of me to have a family.  I will never be able to support a family finacially or emotionally.  It's wasn't fair what I did to my last girlfriend, which was 26 some years ago.  I saw how hard it was on her when I got so sick with my mental health and never wanted to put anyone else through that again.  And I especially can't do that to my children if I had any.  My sister was diagnosed with ptsd from the horrors she saw me go through when she was so young. I refuse do that to anyone else.  Being alone really upsets me, but I've excepted it at the same time. I've been told by multiple people to get into a relationship even if it doesn't lead to anything, but like I said, I'm a mess and it wouldn't be fair.  Plus, I'm horrible with break ups and I don't want to go through that again.  So now I'm stuck lonely for the rest of my life.  I guess it's better this way.