Doing the Best We Can
We are all doing the best we can aren't we??? When someone asks, they don't want to hear the story, they want to hear we are fine...I can say that I am doing the best I can without choking on my own lies.
Soooo many people have abandoned me. I was told it would happen, guess I didn't believe it. I am so lonely.
I noticed my husband has replaced the handguns in his side table from wherever they were hidden. It's safe, I wouldn't do that to myself. Unlike my child, I don't have the nerve.
Looking back at the most difficult times in her life...I no longer ask why??? but why not??? She held in there so much longer than most of us would have. Certainly longer than I would have. I admire her for that, her bravery. Deciding each day to give life ONE MORE CHANCE, and avoid breaking our hearts.
I read an article, something about people who had decided to commit suicide but a strangers kind gesture changed their minds. What if a stranger had shown my child some kindness that morning, a smile, a wave, I don't know, anything to snap her out of that state of mind. It might have put off the inevitable...talking now, in whispers, we feel she knew it was going to happen, just didn't know when...I hoped to get her thru one day at a time till she got some age, some maturity on her.
I can't sit still anymore. Anybody know what I mean??? I am not comfortable in my own skin. I just take meds to sleep and sleep, it's my only escape.
I don't come here enough. My days are long and emotionally draining...most days I coast in on fumes and pass at on the couch...before 6pm. Then back up at 5am. I get a lot of sleep but I am always tired. Anyway, I haven't been participating very much sisters. Please forgive me and give me your soft words of comfort and understanding.
Soooo many people have abandoned me. I was told it would happen, guess I didn't believe it. I am so lonely.
I noticed my husband has replaced the handguns in his side table from wherever they were hidden. It's safe, I wouldn't do that to myself. Unlike my child, I don't have the nerve.
Looking back at the most difficult times in her life...I no longer ask why??? but why not??? She held in there so much longer than most of us would have. Certainly longer than I would have. I admire her for that, her bravery. Deciding each day to give life ONE MORE CHANCE, and avoid breaking our hearts.
I read an article, something about people who had decided to commit suicide but a strangers kind gesture changed their minds. What if a stranger had shown my child some kindness that morning, a smile, a wave, I don't know, anything to snap her out of that state of mind. It might have put off the inevitable...talking now, in whispers, we feel she knew it was going to happen, just didn't know when...I hoped to get her thru one day at a time till she got some age, some maturity on her.
I can't sit still anymore. Anybody know what I mean??? I am not comfortable in my own skin. I just take meds to sleep and sleep, it's my only escape.
I don't come here enough. My days are long and emotionally draining...most days I coast in on fumes and pass at on the couch...before 6pm. Then back up at 5am. I get a lot of sleep but I am always tired. Anyway, I haven't been participating very much sisters. Please forgive me and give me your soft words of comfort and understanding.
Replies
Yes, baby steps and when even those are too much, just breathe - one breath at a time. Hugs, Leda
Yes, you are doing your best and that\'s all one can ask. I have found that I must find \"anchor\" places along the way where I can pause and ground into what is important otherwise I can feel swallowed up whole.
Please take care dear Gina, however that may look and feel for you.
Heartfelt (((hugs)))
XO Joanie
Gina, don\'t feel bad about not coming here that often. We all do what we can and there is no judgment here...just support.
Your daughter was brave to fight as long as she did. I am so sorry my friend. This life can be so cruel.
Tightest of hugs, Linda
Look into you being so tired. Like Abby said it could be sleep apnea or problem with your blood, get it checked out.
I do hope you feel better physically and mentally.
Tight hugs Penny