deppressed and lonely

I just don't know. There are times I can't stand people. They call themselves friends then ignore you. I have to make an effort to reach out to people and no one really extends the same to me.  I hate being me. That no matter what I do the world turns their back on me. That I have to be diagnosed the illness from heck.  I truly wonder why I'm still here. I'd love to someone different, to be accepted and to have a family who wants me. I can never achieve  this in my life. I just want to be loved- but I know that isn't possible. Never for me. I wish I never was. It wouldn't matter for I'm not wanted or needed. Who really cares.