Denial ends now.

My best friend, whom I love very deeply was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he was 11 years old. Since December 2013 he's 1 emergency surgery to save his life, 1 emergency surgery to prevent further brain damage due to infection and 1 urgent surgery to remove his tumor before it caused more life threatening issues. I lived in the hospital when he was admitted.. Every single time he was in the hospital, so was I. Day in and day out. His previous had said his tumor was inoperable but the surgeon who had to perform emergency surgeries was confident enough to do the procedure as he is one of the top 3 neurosurgeons in north america. Don't get me wrong, he did an amazing job, 99% gone which is much more than anyone expected...but there were complications.
In recovery the doctors/nurses discovered my friend was having seizures and said it was likely because of swelling in the brain caused from the physical manipulation of the brain during surgery. He also "lost strength in his left side" which is the nice way of saying it was paralyzed with feeling and would hopefully regain strength. 
The doctor ordered brain scans be done post-op and called me (emergency ccontact # on file) to tell me how much was removed and informed me the scan was clear. I was so relieved. I saw the doctor a day or two after in which he invited me to see the scan, I had seen all previous scans and was excited to see a tumor free scan which is what I saw...as well as a dark area where blood flow had been disrupted. I was told he had a stroke during surgery. The area of the brain that was effected is the area that controls movement, sensation of touch and short term memory. 
I have tried so hard to be positive and be happy...but I am so angry and so upset. I just want to cry all the time. After his surgery he didn't know anything.. I had to force myself to be happy and cheerful because he would know if I was upset about something. I was in the hospital for 8-10 hours a day every day. I cheerfully retold him as many times as needed what happened to him and why his left side wouldn't move. I retold him over and over why he couldn't remember anything. All the while having a bright smile and cheerful glow only to get home at night and crash because I was so drained from putting on a happy face. 
His prognosis is good, so far he's mostly regained control over the left side though it still frustrates him when it doesn't do what he wants it to and his memory ... It varies day to day. He doesn't remember details from September/October..he initially got sick in December.
We're optimistic. I keep a happy face on for everyone around me.. But the denial stop here. I can't pretend it didn't happen. I can't pretend I'm okay with the fact that my best friend at 26 has had 3 surgeries in 3 months to literally save his life. I'm everyone's rock...but who's mine?