Decisions ruled solely by emotion

Warning: The content of this journal will be viewed as controversial by many and even rejected by some. I write this only to put my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs into words to process some of the turmoil I am fighting through.

I do not believe that the Lord gave us emotions to be at their mercy. Some people are so controlled by them that they are victims of the feelings. Intelligence, (for discernment) will (for resistance and perseverence), emotion, and faith (to believe in instructions in His Word and that regardless of what you see and feel to trust in Him) make up the entire human package. These are also components of love. They must ALL play a role. The emotion part is the easiest for it is not initiated by the person. In my mind faith is the the most difficult because it requires the most initiation from the individual.

Some people claim that emotions are what make us "in God's image" but I completely disagree. Ask any pet owner if their pets show emotion and I'm quiet certain 100% will say they do. Zoo keepers too. We have more capacity for intelligence and will than animals but these are not unique traits to us. Faith is the exclusive characteristic.

Why do people give their emotions supreme authority over their lives as if they were divine commands? They are quite fallible in nature. Have you not felt emotions that were evil and needed to be rejected? Ever get road rage? Ever wish harm to someone you are extremely hurt by? Obviously, it would be horrible to act on these emotions. Some emotions are much more subtle and downright deceptive. I submit to you that other emotions under the guise of positive feelings need just as much caution and denial of power over you. That attraction you feel for another because of some perceived connection may not match up with other attribute gifted to us by the Lord to make decisions that would parallel His intentions for us. The target of your feelings may be married, have other characteristics that are red flags, has actions from his past or present that do not reflect good moral standards, etc. that your INTELLIGENCE should be engaged to identify and serve to reject these feelings. If you are in a relationship at the time of the attraction, your promise to that person should engage your WILL to resist these temptations. Yes, the Lord wants us to resist temptation. It is throughout the Bible. ;) Also, if any of this applies when feeling those emotions of attraction or connection to someone, you should have FAITH that the Lord would not bring someone to you to make you hurt someone who is counting on you, or bring someone that has hurt others into your life and risk hurting you eventually. So you see, these other gifts the Lord has blessed us with are intended to play equal roles in our decisions for love.

Now for something I believe many will have difficulty accepting. I also believe the absence of emotion should be treated very similarly to a spike in emotion. Have you ever looked back over the course of a day and identified a time in which you perhaps should have felt or displayed more compassion, kindness, love, etc. than you did? At that given moment of time, you did not FEEL emotion to guide you in a way that looking back on, you would have desired of yourself. Have you ever had to force yourself to be understanding or charitable when you did not feel it in your heart? Again, the absence of emotion is not right, and your INTELLIGENCE, WILL, or Faith are the referees that throw the proverbial penalty flag in your mind. So too should the absence of that "in love" feeling for a spouse or committed partner in one's heart be treated. This also applies to "honoring" your partner. Do you have friends to whom you complain about your partner? Do you find yourself bad-mouthing someone who is faithfully counting on you to support him or her to others? There is no excuse for this. Even if you suspect the other is failing in a similar way, it does not give you the right.

Why do we give such incredible power to FEELINGS to guide our actions? Simply because we are selfish by nature and giving the feelings that kind of authority also gives us justification for actions that are contrary to our own expectations of ourselves. People who judge others who commit adultery or other acts of infidelity can sometimes totally justify similar actions from themselves because the relationship they are betraying is "loveless" or they are no longer "in love" with their partner. Others state they can't help who they fall in love with, and even go so far as to say the Lord revealed the one with whom they are truly meant to be married while married to the wrong person. Frankly, I call BS. Right and wrong do not have exceptions just for one person. If you are a Christian, please don't believe the Bible does not apply in this one case for you. Anything truly good in life other than the Lord's grace has difficult challenges involved. Who has ever looked back over the years of being a parent raising children and claimed, "Well that was so easy!" In fact, I will go further to propose that only by overcoming these difficult challenges do you achieve the really good levels of awesomeness in a relationship. That is when a relationship passes from "in love" and into "true love."

Let me end by telling you with a open and humble heart. I struggle with everything I wrote above, just like everyone else. I am not some Spock-like person rejecting the influence of emotions. In fact, that "in love" feeling is such an incredible blessing that I crave it and feel crushed in its absence. Sometimes it is very hard to keep pushing forward with will and faith that my wife will come around. The pain of the struggle and rejection from her can make the love wane and falter sometimes. I know I must continue the good fight. I will do what is right by my marriage, my children, and most of all my Christian beliefs. I confess, it is hard, but I refuse to let myself become a victim to myself by basing decisions on feelings, or the lack thereof, alone.