December 19, 2016

What's most important to me is not letting any fetish i have affect how I interact with people in my life on a daily basis. I also want to improve my self-esteem and reverse my negative image of my body. My first focus has been a success for over a week now, I am proud of that. Even though i barely have anyone to talk to. I had a good week last week and for the month had lost 16 lbs., but the last 3 days i've been at or over my calorie intake goal of only 1700 a day. So tomorrow i hit the reset button and focus on what i need to do to create a better me. Had my first therapy session tonight. It was not nearly as positive and helpful as my support group. Not sure if it was the counselor, or just that i know in my heart and mind that the only person that can truly help me...is me. I know what it takes to live more positively, better, improve body image and self-esteem, and i am the one who controls of my socialization and fetish addiction. In way this counseling session confused me, I'm not sure if I'm normal and don't even need help, or that just no one ever reassures me...that I'm completely alone when it matters.