Day to day
Ruthie where r you? Remember how you spent last wed in close communion with the porcelain throne? oh boy, joining you dear .. Very reluctantly joining you.
is it that our lives become mini rollercoasters with cfs, or is it we become so much more attuned to the daily ups and downs of life?
overall i'd say my recovery is going well. Been sleeping a lot but not crashed. Funny how many variations of tired we have in our lexicon. Cant seem to stay awake but thats a good thing. Much better than tired but wired, or keerashed!
Sunlight from one window in my room is bothering me. I have a beautiful curtain rod which i bought pre surgery, but needs a drill to install. I cant lift a drill right now, so my curtain is hung on a piece of electrical pipe wedged into the corners. The wind keeps blowing it down.
So i was able to walk downstairs yesterday to search for a curtain. spent a good deal of time packing away clothes which had somehow gotten mixed in with my curtains. Good news is i found several garments i had not seen in years. Even found a brand new pair of shoes for my son. They were too big when i bought them so i stored them .. and forgot them .. Now they're too small. Ah well...
never did find the curtain i was looking for and wiped myself out for the rest of the day.
need to go to the supermarket, we are running out of food.
need to get my sons back to school shopping done.
i note a crisis taking place at work. Key person in one of my units quit. 4 person team, 1 quit 3 months ago, one more going now and my boss gave another one notice. great. Somehow i think i wont be off for 8 weeks, or i may not have a unit to run when i get back. So far staying out of it but am worried.
sister drama has calmed down. Phew! That was a doozie. she is calmer now, speaking to us again but frankly i was so shocked, i'm extremely reluctant to engage with her agian. Need time.
in have a girlfriend who is a doctor. She hasnt paid much mind to my woes over the years but has been really helpful in the last 6 months. Anyhoo she did not agree with this surgery. She wanted me to deal with the cervical issue with cryotherapy and she just ignored the abdominal pain issue.
So i did not follow her advice because she was discounting the issue that was most important to me. Of course now the temperature coming from her direction is decidedly cool re this whole hysto and recovery. Ah well.
so i'm a little bit worried that the surgery may not have been the right call. The pain and heat i used to experience has occurred after the surgery. I developed a massive bruise after the surgery and it is in the general area as the ongoing pain and heat. Its going away now but the area is far more tender than the actual incision site. Now i'm seeing signs that i may have picked up an infection post surgery. Combine that with the bowels acting up.. I get a nasty feeling i need to be back at the doc.
dont want to go back. Its an hour of driving and a couple of hours of waiting and nasty steep stairs and I am just too tired. watching it for a few more days, so hard to make decisions. Back to faith...
ps : my bum hurts
is it that our lives become mini rollercoasters with cfs, or is it we become so much more attuned to the daily ups and downs of life?
overall i'd say my recovery is going well. Been sleeping a lot but not crashed. Funny how many variations of tired we have in our lexicon. Cant seem to stay awake but thats a good thing. Much better than tired but wired, or keerashed!
Sunlight from one window in my room is bothering me. I have a beautiful curtain rod which i bought pre surgery, but needs a drill to install. I cant lift a drill right now, so my curtain is hung on a piece of electrical pipe wedged into the corners. The wind keeps blowing it down.
So i was able to walk downstairs yesterday to search for a curtain. spent a good deal of time packing away clothes which had somehow gotten mixed in with my curtains. Good news is i found several garments i had not seen in years. Even found a brand new pair of shoes for my son. They were too big when i bought them so i stored them .. and forgot them .. Now they're too small. Ah well...
never did find the curtain i was looking for and wiped myself out for the rest of the day.
need to go to the supermarket, we are running out of food.
need to get my sons back to school shopping done.
i note a crisis taking place at work. Key person in one of my units quit. 4 person team, 1 quit 3 months ago, one more going now and my boss gave another one notice. great. Somehow i think i wont be off for 8 weeks, or i may not have a unit to run when i get back. So far staying out of it but am worried.
sister drama has calmed down. Phew! That was a doozie. she is calmer now, speaking to us again but frankly i was so shocked, i'm extremely reluctant to engage with her agian. Need time.
in have a girlfriend who is a doctor. She hasnt paid much mind to my woes over the years but has been really helpful in the last 6 months. Anyhoo she did not agree with this surgery. She wanted me to deal with the cervical issue with cryotherapy and she just ignored the abdominal pain issue.
So i did not follow her advice because she was discounting the issue that was most important to me. Of course now the temperature coming from her direction is decidedly cool re this whole hysto and recovery. Ah well.
so i'm a little bit worried that the surgery may not have been the right call. The pain and heat i used to experience has occurred after the surgery. I developed a massive bruise after the surgery and it is in the general area as the ongoing pain and heat. Its going away now but the area is far more tender than the actual incision site. Now i'm seeing signs that i may have picked up an infection post surgery. Combine that with the bowels acting up.. I get a nasty feeling i need to be back at the doc.
dont want to go back. Its an hour of driving and a couple of hours of waiting and nasty steep stairs and I am just too tired. watching it for a few more days, so hard to make decisions. Back to faith...
ps : my bum hurts
Replies
Our lives ARE rollercoasters with CFS. We get used to things that healthy people can\'t even fathom having to deal with. And we do it with grace!! Another CFIDS\'er will appreciate the \"found shoe\" story. It\'s BIG! You DID remember to put those shoes away. YOU GO!!!
Glad the sister drama is over. I can see where that was a very stressful thing for you to go through...glad it\'s done with!
Praying that you get some answers on where your pain is and that there is no infection. I\'m sure you made the right call!!!! God will take care of you. Let your doctor know you are having some post op problems. Antibiotics will kill and brewing infection. I hope your g/friend warms back up to you. I really do. Our friends are few and far between. They need to support us. They NEED to support us!
Gentle hugs, Max! xo
Oh so sorry it takes me so long to get around to journals etc.It must be the exciting social life I lead with so many events to attend etc.Yeah right . It\'s bed, bed , bed and bed again, can\'t seem to escape this crash.Thinking about your shoe story, reminds me of when I found a cute little size 2 tee shirt with little butterflies hand painted on it.It was for my daughter for christmas and I discovered it up on a shelf in my clothes cupboard many years ago.She was 18 at the time so it had been there for 16yrs.She is now 30. As for your girlfriend, it\'s your body, not hers.As for your sister, these things are quite common, where we have conflicts in families, however our sisters are precious and she did help, so just leave it go and love her, because one day she may be gone.Nothing is worth breaking that relationship, nothing.Keep a close eye on your body and do get it checked if anything seems unusual, better to do that than take any risk.Wish I could just trade this one in right now.Hey Max the extra elimination may be your body just getting rid of all those chemicals you had pumped into you in hospital.Oh dear, another day in paradise here, not handling it very well.Every time I try to stand up I feel I\'m going to faint.So just like a dead old dog on the same bed in the same room.Hugs Jamaican girl, rest up xo
Hi Max..........want to write you a long letter, but i\'m about outta steam today. My tummy is being kinder in general, but the problem is still not totally licked. Gonna have to write everything down food diary style and have a chat with doc heather.........I hope your tummy is being kinder to you now.....!!!!! poor sweet you........hugs of huge UNDERSTANDING......sigh. so not fun!
hope u found an easy solution for your window so you can get good rest. do you have an eye mask you might use in the interim? i have got to get one, but i keep forgetting. i don\'t have an issue with light from my window, but i have light from a glowing TV.......I am always conking out with it on and that light is not good for the best level of rest..........which we already struggle with as it is.
I want an eye mask that has eyes on it..........for some reason the idea of this makes me smile and smiling is goooooood.
glad the drama winds have died down some........time and distance help ...... i hope your sis will regroup and be in support of you as you heal.......cause drama isn\'t what is needed.......support and compassion is the stuff.....but if she can\'t or won\'t right now.......we\'ll step up and family back you up sweetie!! we got your back........
concerned about this infection and i truly want you to talk to the doc asap if you haven\'t already and get this LOOKED AT.........not to be bossy, but infections are nothing to mess with.........
tell your distant doc pal that you had to make a best for you and very difficult decision for your body, that when you feel better ya\'ll can rehash pros and cons.........but to please park that for now, be a good friend now and lend you support.........cause you could use some kindness now and then later ya\'ll can talk more if needed............and if she could bring you flowers, soup........a neck pillow and that if she will throw in a free hottie masseuse over you will say she MIGHT have been right but let\'s not worry about it alright????? let\'s get me well .........!!!
don\'t know if that is too bossy, but what the hey!!! you need support during recuperation.....so first things first.........i really gotta stop typing, i had a big day and wore my self out............praying for you, huggggssssssss, ruthie