Day by day

Well, I finished painting the foundation yesterday.  It's one of those things I only want to ever have to do but once.  What a mess!  I'm still trying to get all the paint off of me.  My next project will be to powerwash the garage.  I was going to do it yesterday when I got done painting but the darn powerwasher needs oil and I didn't have any.  I made it through another day without tears.  I did get a little sad yesterday afternoon just thinking of what Gene and I would have been doing on a beautiful Sunday afternoon.  Maybe sitting outside playing cards.  Maybe he'd be working in the garage and I'd be sitting there talking to him.  Before he died he typed up a "to do" list and hung it on the refrigerator.  I came in yesterday afternoon and looked at it and realized I'm going to have to hire some workmen to do some of what's on there.  My next project is to get a couple tons of white stone and finish doing the driveway Gene started before he died and then lay some weedblock down around the boardwalk he built and put some stone down there too.  That's if the weather stays as nice as it's been.  If it gets too hot I may just put it off until the fall when the weather cools off. I'm feeling a little apprehensive about feeling good.  I know that sounds crazy but after what I've been going through it's like I'm waiting to fall down again.  Best to try to get somethings done while I'm feeling better than to worry about what might happen tomorrow.  I'm still only working six hours a day, but at least now I'm making it through the whole six hours.  That's a big accomplishment compared to not even being able to go to work.   Today I need to get to the store.  The kids will be here tomorrow night and they want grilled pork chops, corn on the cob and mashed potatoes.  I also need to write all their names on little pieces of paper so they can pick one out, then that person has to decide what we eat the following week.  My fishtank is green, there's another job I need to do and my cat has left me a cute little hairball on the carpet that needs cleaned up....

Replies

lindalun
lindalun

I am so glad that you have been keeping busy and finishing the to do list for your husband. It is great to be able to feel useful. I am so depressed that I cannot bring myself to doing anything yet. I miss him so much and all that I do is go to the gravesite twice a day to talk to him. I miss him so much that I just want to be with him all day long. The gravesite seems to be the place that I feel like he is closer to me. I miss him and love him more than ever. This pain just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Linda
feliciac
feliciac

Please, please don\'t feel bad for feeling \"ok\". I am so proud of you and all of the work you are doing. They do say that physical labor does work out a lot of emotions. I love you so much and just can\'t express that enough. Felicia - XOXOXO
missmyhero
missmyhero

Sounds like you are getting a lot done. I have chipped away some on my to do list. I am planning only a few things each weekend so I do not overdo it, but it does feel good to get some things done. What kind of fish do you have? I have guppies. My tank is starting to grow algae again too.

-Diana