DAY AFTERDAY AFTERDAY
I FEEL I AM IN THAT MOVIE GROUND HOG DAY, SOME THING EVERY DAY, I HAVE HORRENDOUS SUFFERING EVER MORNING ,I HAVE CRUSHING PAIN AND SORROW, I FEEL MY HEART IS BLEEDING HAVING THIS PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PAIN,I RESIDE IN DARKNESS AND THIS WILL GO ON THE REST OF MY LIFE ,THE ILLNESS I HAVE THERE IS NO CURE, THE PAIN OF LOSING MY DAUGHTER WILL NEVER END, ONLY GRIEVING PEOPLE KNOW WHAT THIS TORTURE IS LIKE ,I WILL MOURN FOREVER, I DO BELIEVE IN GOD ,BUT SOME TIMES BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE AND THAT IS HOW IT IS ON EARTH ,O YES SUPPORT HELPS BUT I HAVE NONE OF THAT AT HOME I TRY HARD TO HELP OTHERS BECAUSE I KNOW THERE PAIN, I KNOW SOME BELIEVE THERE SEE THERE LOVE ONES AGAIN , BUT SORRY I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT, I KNOW I MUST GO THROUGH THE REST OF MY LIFE KNOWING I WILL NEVER SEE MY DAUGHTER AGAIN AND THE PAIN OF THAT IS ENOUGH TO KILL ME. RE LEARNING TO LIVE WITH PURPOSE AND INTEREST IN LIFE HAS NOT HAPPENED IN 8 YEARS ,IT ONLY GET WORSE I CAN PRETEND PRETTY GOOD CAN,T I. THIS IS A STRANGE PAIN FULL REALITY I CAN NOT PRETEND ANY MORE. THERE IS A ACCEPTANCE OF LIFE AND A ACCEPTANCE OF DEATH AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS ,WHATS IN BETWEEN DOES NOT MATTER WHEN WERE GONE, I SEE THAT IN EVERY ONE WHO HAS FOR GOTTON ME AND MY DAUGHTER, I DO NOT GO AROUND ACTING SAD BECAUSE I HAVE LOST ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS I HAVE TO PRETEND ALL IS OK, AND SO I WILL FOR THE SAKE OF OTHERS, I HAD TO GET THIS OUT IT WAS HIDING IN ME AND NOW I WILL GO ON PRETENDING UNTIL THE DAY I DIE.
Replies
Oh, Shirley, my heart just aches for you. That hollow empty feeling of loss...It\'s horrible and nothing ever fills the spot. I do truly believe with all my heart that we will see our loved ones again in Heaven. I believe I will see my little baby girl that did not get a chance to live a life here on earth for long.
You are a wonderful kind sweet person and I just hope and pray that the Lord will give you peace.
I don\'t know you as well as some on here, but please know that my heart is with you....and I offer my love and support along with the wonderful people here.
comforting hugs. Dear Shirley, my family and i are keeping you and your family in our thoughts, and prayers, wishing you all comfort, healing, and peace. we\'ll always surround you all with love, care, and support, to help you all throug these sad times, and we\'ll have some good times, to experience too. you are a wonderful person, a beautiful mom, wife, and great friend to us all. :) god bless your heart. You and your family have been through a lot together. i admire you all for keeping strong together, keeping hope, faith, strength, and lots of love to share. :) We are with you all in spirit, and our love is hugging your hearts. :) i\'m here, anytime you need too talk. we love you friends. keep surrounded by love, care, and support. :)
You know I understand where you are coming from~Some times I think if I hear~ you are a strong person again I will scream!!! what the heck do others think I should do???I have no choice but to live~that isn\'t strong~that is torture!!...My husband died 5 years before my son did~ My other sons have their busy lives and guess what!!!!I have no one to lean on!~so all we can do is keep taking one second at a time and keep trying to get through each day....Look at something pretty today..it helps a little~HUGS!
I am so sorry to read about your intense heart pain, Shirley. I wish there were magic words to say, but as you know, nothing short of having our children back--either flesh or the realization in Spirit-- can suffice. I hope that you will have an \"experience\" of the reality that your daughter is still very much alive and HAPPY...Until then, all we can do is Trust and Hope (in God) that our pain will finally die when we start living the \"true\" life ...like our children currently do! Love, Donna