Daunting feeling

Recently I've had this daunting feeling... I know it's the depression creeping it's way back in, and I'm trying to keep it from coming back. I'm getting migraines again, and pain.. whenever I get depressed my injuries and "syndromes" (carpal tunnel) act up really bad.. I have problems with addiction, this is no secret to my DS friends, I'm an alcoholic and I'm afraid of becoming addicted to my pain medication. I have medication with codeine and an analgesic for neuralgia, it's supposed to dull the nerve endings or something so it doesn't hurt so bad when my tendons get swollen and hit the nerve. I take pain medication every morning and every night, I take it with my anti-inflammatory medication because when I take my anti-inflammatories, I'm in excruciating pain. I know they're helping though, they're supposed to be good in the long run, whether or not I take them I'll be in excruciating pain, not taking them just means excruciating pain throughout the entire day, every day, and it'll cause much more damage in the long run. I take the lowest dosage of the pain meds, just enough to get me through the de-swelling of my tendons. There are many a days where I want to take pills throughout the day, even when I don't need them... That's something I absolutely will not let myself do.