darkness
haven't had a day this bad since I moved out...can't stop the tears..what the fuck is wrong with me??? I am beyond lonely and hate that I miss him so much....I have YEARS full of journals documenting how unhappy we were together...so WHY????
Dark thought just keep flooding in...don't seem to be able to distract myself enough today. Also, really tight on money so that is not helping any. I have also had an entire pot of coffee....can't get warm and now jittery on top of it.
I am so unhappy here...and I have no one...so why drag my feet about moving??? Am I so afraid of changing jobs and affording it down there that I remain here frozen and miserable?
:Ugh!!!!
Replies
force change, force yourself to break the cycle. try a new activity (take a class, join a gym, join a meetup group...)
Sometimes it is darkest before the dawn. Once you meet your grief, you can come to terms with it. When was the last time you visited an art museum? They are helpful to me.
its natural to cry..why do we fight it, thinking that is a sign of strength? true strength is in facing our feelings, all of them, not just the happy ones, facing the ugly ones, sitting down with them holding their hand and saying- Im here with u, and Ill still be here when u decide to stand up and move on. So take your time. Its a process. Change takes time. Take your time, be patient with yourself, its ok to miss someone who was a part of your life... even if we had a big mole on our foot and had it removed, we would notice when it was gone, right? write in a notebook just for u to see, write what u want out of life in the next 6 months. Then start a strategy. The cure for depression is purpose. You've lost your purpose, now u need to go find one that speaks to your heart. Baby steps.
You today, me last night. It gets better. But it is a roller coaster. Big hug sister.
Hugs Trish, I feel for you. I feel like that today too.