crisis line and coda meetings

i am going to start going to CoDA (codependents anonymous) meetings. i called the crisis hotline tonight just for some guidance, and i received strong support. i realize that i want this relationship. i also have to accept that i may not be able to keep it, regardless of how strong my desire.
i want to learn how to have healthy communication. to be responsible for my feelings and not make accusations. the wise guidance that i received tonight from the crisis counselor was that i can work on myself, and that this will help me to demonstrate and maintain adult behavior. i have the potential to be a role model for him, while also staying healthy and strong myself. but i must recognize that this growth will not guarantee that i will be able to keep my relationship. it doesn't mean that it will be cured.  but it will be a step toward keeping myself strong, and being responsible for my own behavior and reactions.
i was also recommended a book called "the dance of anger."
i can do this. i am shy and reserved and afraid, but bettering myself is possible. whatever the outcome, i can survive.