Coping
so this is what mothers of angel children do instead of breastfeeding, changing diapers, singing lullabies..they cope.
What does coping mean to me? I insisted on having a natural birth to bring her into the world whole and perfect, and that she has a funeral service, where my family and friends would have the opportunity to honor her life, I took the bible reading over her little white satin cloth draped coffin; Jer.31:15-16, it said her life was not in vain. I made sure she has the best name with rich meaning, a decent grave with pink tiling, i put my names on her headstone too, so everyone who passes by her knows without a doubt how much her mom loves her still, I bought her flowers, plastic ones so she can keep them for a bit longer than the fragile natural ones. I made myself a bracelet with her name printed on it, so I can wear it daily and others can know I am always with her. I starting seeing a therapist, someone paid to talk about her and my jumbled feelings. And I miss her everyday and cried and still cry, but not like those who have no hope, because I fully believe we will meet again in heaven. I read my bible for reassurance and hope, I pray, I take long walks, I refused to give up, resisted the urge to just lie in bed till i died, I started journaling, I read other stillbirth moms journals, i joined an online support group, i i am doing my very best to cope, and so far, I hope I am making you proud of your mummy, my beautiful peaceful angel Sinza. Love you everyday!
What does coping mean to me? I insisted on having a natural birth to bring her into the world whole and perfect, and that she has a funeral service, where my family and friends would have the opportunity to honor her life, I took the bible reading over her little white satin cloth draped coffin; Jer.31:15-16, it said her life was not in vain. I made sure she has the best name with rich meaning, a decent grave with pink tiling, i put my names on her headstone too, so everyone who passes by her knows without a doubt how much her mom loves her still, I bought her flowers, plastic ones so she can keep them for a bit longer than the fragile natural ones. I made myself a bracelet with her name printed on it, so I can wear it daily and others can know I am always with her. I starting seeing a therapist, someone paid to talk about her and my jumbled feelings. And I miss her everyday and cried and still cry, but not like those who have no hope, because I fully believe we will meet again in heaven. I read my bible for reassurance and hope, I pray, I take long walks, I refused to give up, resisted the urge to just lie in bed till i died, I started journaling, I read other stillbirth moms journals, i joined an online support group, i i am doing my very best to cope, and so far, I hope I am making you proud of your mummy, my beautiful peaceful angel Sinza. Love you everyday!
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