COMMENTS
After reading everyones comments, for the moms... I can't believe I haven't taken the time to journal.. I never was good with words or spelling, so I didn't bother. Now I started writting on wordpad, then I save it. Now I can start it, then go back to it later, I have lost so many comments from answering moms journals, it made me soooo mad, and frustrated, I found myself not wanting to write, I would feel paralyized, and not bother.. I would read moms Journals, then feel exhausted thinking about writting. I was afraid of losing it.. My computer is so sensitive .. I have been told many times to write my journals on wordpad.. BUT NOOOO, Kelly/me has to do everything the hard way!!!!! I still don't know much about computers. I'm getting better, only type with one finger,lol....I started the story about the Cruise I went on after Ryan died. I had a few messages from Ryan too. I'll try to finish it quick, like I said, I have a hard time putting words into a sentence's.. lol.. I like writting a little at a time, then I get up & do other things.. I can't do one thing at a time, I have to do alittle of this and a little of that..lol.. I love you all, even when we haven't met.. Isn't that cool! I never have experienced loving others without meeting them.. It is a Gift From God, Kelly
PS. I love hearing about your Coinicidences, and things that were said.. It helps me believe in a God.. It helps me believe things happen for a reason, even if I Don't Like IT!!! It helps me look at the other side of things..
In time we learn how to live without them in our lives...Every waken momment, in the morning, I don't like my life without Ryan in it, so I've trained my mind to believe Ryan is walking beside me, helping me through.. I talk to him all the time, he is in my heart & soul, the visions of his smile helps me to be happy... But if I dwell on it, I can go back into that dreadful deep black whole of despair...I can't go their..I'm so fearful of it.. its another thing I had to do, train my mind to chase it right out of there....
PS. I love hearing about your Coinicidences, and things that were said.. It helps me believe in a God.. It helps me believe things happen for a reason, even if I Don't Like IT!!! It helps me look at the other side of things..
In time we learn how to live without them in our lives...Every waken momment, in the morning, I don't like my life without Ryan in it, so I've trained my mind to believe Ryan is walking beside me, helping me through.. I talk to him all the time, he is in my heart & soul, the visions of his smile helps me to be happy... But if I dwell on it, I can go back into that dreadful deep black whole of despair...I can't go their..I'm so fearful of it.. its another thing I had to do, train my mind to chase it right out of there....
Replies
I write to just get it off my chest. Spelling and grammar are not big on my lists. I find it very theraputic to just write it down. You are doing what you can and that\'s okay. Grief is a long journey with many ups and downs and how we deal with it is okay as there is no right or wrong to do this. Hugs Cathy
I also write just to get it off my chest. Shortly after Christmas we received a card from an acquaintance that really set me off and threw me into a rage. I wrote this woman a note back, posted it to my journal on FMO and said \"please tell me not to send this!\" I got a number of understanding and helpful responses and didn\'t send the letter but the sense of rage and needing to \"get back\" completely lifted from me ~ I haven\'t given that woman or the card a second thought since then.
So ~ I say write, write, write ~ we all love sharing stories, happy, sad, angry, despairing ~ whatever ~ it really helps. That black hole is always waiting to swallow us up and we can choose to step away from it using whatever we can muster up. I\'m working on training myself to do what you do ~ have Corrie walk with me day in and day out, cultivating a conscious sense of the essence of Corrie always being by my side. Boy ~ sure would love a REAL hug from her...but we take what we can get on this grief journey.
Sending love and hugs ~ Debbie
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Hi Kelly, I had such a wonderful visit in Georgia with Nathan just a couple weeks before he was killed. My aunt had died and I went back for her funeral. I spent the whole time with Nathan. And even though it was so sad loosing my aunt, I had the most comfortable, loving time with Nathan. I\'m so glad I got to spend that time with him. I\'m glad you got to do dinner with the kids to. Heart to heart, Danette
Kelly always write whenever and whatever you want...we never know how long it takes you to write it and I never pay attention to spelling and things...I love hearing from you...love and hugs...Karen
It doesn\'t matter how you write. Just putting your thoughts and fears down on paper help. It has helped me heal. At lest when I type you can\'t tell how bad my handwriting is HA HA... I flunked spelling all my life so I can read the misspelled words just fine. A great big hug Penny
look how many responses you got to your entry!! i love your writing, it\'s amazing, so real. i\'m sore too, have the same feelings as you. love jan
We are so much a like I cannot sit still I love the idea of saving the journals love to you my friend