Coincidence? I think not!

After 43 days, I'm finding I can finally get out of bed before 7 AM, watch the sun rise, meditate, and exercise. These were all things that insomnia kept me from early in my recovery. This morning I woke up at 5 AM and watched the Today Show, had a green protein smoothie, ran on the beach, and watched the sun rise. It was beautiful.  
I've also lost nearly 20 pounds, weight that I couldn't take off for years. I think it's no coincidence that this physical weight paralleled the emotional weight I was carrying. I feel lighter because I have nothing to hide emotionally any more. I don't have this terrible secret that I'm spending tens of hours at the casino every week. I don't have this terrible secret that I'm using money I need for other things on gambling. I don't feel like I have to lie about where I've been or what I'm doing or where I'm going. I don't feel ashamed of who I am anymore. It's really...something. 
I feel like I'm becoming the person I've always wanted to be. It's fascinating and enlightening and fascinating. You let go of one huge bad thing, you end up gaining so many little things that collectively add up to more. 
Work is still difficult at times. I have a renewed interest in focusing on myself rather than my work. But I know this shift is only temporary.