Cognitive Deficits

I'm having trouble with my mind... It's somewhat concerning, in the sense that I notice it and acknowledge that it's likely due to my psyche rather than a physical condition. It's frustrating. My short-term episodic memory is significantly impaired. I'm forgetting things that are said/done within the hour; I'm using the wrong words when I'm trying to talk. I had to sit and stare at my calendar to be able to remember if my husband and I were intimate last night, or the night before. It took at least five minutes of questioning myself to remember I was tired and achey last night and just wanted to sleep, and that I couldn't sleep so I played a meditation recording and crashed within 15 minutes. To people who are regularly successfully intimate with their partner, mixing up the dates might be insignificant, but we have trouble getting him to stay erect, let alone to ejaculate... To forget if it was last night or the night before, is pretty bad. This type of forgetfulness is constant. 

I know I experienced withdrawal last week from my pain medication. It was unexpected, and I didn't realize that was what I was experiencing until I reverted back to what felt like a 'sane' version of myself. I was on edge and snappy last week, it was uncomfortable and so unlike myself. It didn't help that my friend was also snappy and on edge as he was going through withdrawal of medication as well. Last week was ugly. 

I've been missing my mom a lot recently. I've felt on the edge of tears numerous times this week, I can't explain why. I just miss her. I barely have any connection with my siblings anymore, so part of it might just be that I feel so disconnected from my own family. Losing a parent is something that everyone experiences differently. For me, I lost a parent that I could have had an incredible relationship with, and who I was finally starting to have a good relationship with. When I think of how I lost my mom, how we had finally started connecting and letting go of the past, I think about my dad. I think about how I developed a relationship with him, but in him almost dying, our relationship suffered drastically. I feel alone. When it comes down to it, I feel alone.