Chose a name today... RIP baby Briar
It's been a year now since my miscarriage... it only sunk in early/mid-december that a year ago I was pregnant...and it has fully sunk in now that my baby has been gone for a full year.. My baby was only about 6-7 weeks (we think), and I didn't know about the pregnancy until it was over... But still, it hurts. I decided I wanted a name for my baby, and with my amazing girlfriend's help, I chose Briar. I lit a candle for baby Briar, and played my song for my sweet angel: Home by Nicol Sponberg, then contined to write Briar a letter... I feel like I have healed a little bit in doing this....not a lot, just a tiny bit.. I'm going to get my tattoo for Briar done as my first tattoo, and I am thinking of doing it on my back over my heart.. I want it to be really special... It's going to have the miscarriage ribbon, the date (Jan 1, '12), and I want it to say Briar.. I have never felt like I wanted a tattoo so bad in my life before... I have a few I want to get, aother memorial for a close friend..the only reason i'm still here today, as well as my own on my wrist to say Love, to remind me of everything I've been through, to keep strong, and keep moving on. Some days are harder than others, so I usually have Love written in pen on my wrist..until I can make it permanant. I will always hold Briar close to my heart, so where better for Briar's tattoo than over my heart? <3 I love you my sweet angel...mommy will always love you...<3
Replies
(((Briar))) is a beautiful name for the babe! This darling babe is in a safe place where you each will enjoy at the time that your souls re-connect for a better life. There is magic to your words and deeds as you think of Briar, which have potent healing properties. What you do with giving the sweet babe a name, lighting a candle, playing your song and writing the letters means that you are unraveling a batch of love that has worked miracles for your tender emotions during the process of grieving Briar; I understand and share your feelings. This act is also something like a passport to a calm state of mind-an antidote to the anxiety of your loss, so to speak. I am pleased with your strong progress. And my love is there with yours and Briar\'s. Blessings of comfort and a hope for peace are sent your way today. Thanks for sharing this beautiful work of thoughts and ideas about your baby...
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Aelle
Thank you Aelle, you\'re support and love has helped me so much through everything o smile, laugh and even dance (in private as per usual).. but dancing is something i\'ve only ever done when i feel free, and happy.. I feel like i\'ve made so much progress since the new year, I know i\'m still grieving and I still need therapy, but it\'s nice to be able to see some light among all the darkness. My tattoo for Briar has given me something to look forward to, I really feel it\'s something I truly want and I really hope my baby feels honoured by it.. as yo know, Jessyka helped me me in planning it and i could tell it meant something special to her too...I found out today she miscarried before too, and she didnt know she was pregnant either.. It helps to know that she can really understand everything i\'m going through right now, and she\'s so supportive of everything
You are always welcome to my care...and, oh, how sad for Jess to have lost bearing a child as well; I\'m thankful for her daughter even more now...and how very considerate she is for helping you choose baby Briar\'s tattoo. I look forward to seeing the final results...keep me informed. I feel that Briar is very much as excited about your memories of him than you can imagine, haha!
Please offer my sympathies to Jess for the miscarriage. So sorry for this...
Aelle
Thank you Aelle, I will pass the message along to Jess. I am so grateful for little Evalynne, she lights up a dark world with her sweet, innocent, happy laughter. I never understood what people meant when they said a child\'s laughter is the sweetest sound...but I can truly understand this now... Evalynne\'s happiness is infectious, and she has helped me out of the darkness numerous times.
I will definitely keep everyone posted on my tattoo for little Briar, once I have a complete sketch done I will post it, as well as the finished product as well.
...then, I have much to look forward to! :) Sweet!!
Aelle
Most definitely!
Acinorev