Can't take anymore
This has been, without a doubt, one of the worst starts to the new year than I could even have imagined. I'm tired, I'm lonely, I'm sick of this fucking weather and I just want to curl up and go to sleep until spring and forget all my troubles. I am at work and I can't even concentrate on what I am doing. My mind is a fog of negative thoughts and depression.
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Well I am in the same state right now my worst days since the loss of my wife not fun is it. I want to tell you when I unfortunately found a girl I thought was going to be with me seemed to be perfect for me. Was with her over two years of her using me for a place to live every time we went out I paid this seemed to take the pain away then two weeks before Christmas with no warning I had no clue she it discarded me took her stuff and I do not know what of mine she has taken of my wife's stuff I don't know what is in her dressers I have not had the will to go through her things and would not even know what she it might have taken I feel stupid being taken by her giving her a key to my home feel robed . Now the loss of what I once had and thought I found is a double hit . I hope to some day have some sense of self like I had with this new girl unfortunately she was a psychopath and the damage she has done has set me back , I have my own business so I have to get my mind back I can not afford to be in this state any more tired no sleep hart pounding panic fear crying one emotion after the other this is so new to me trying to deal with all this at once I can not take this any more.
my advice for you and I is to try to open your hart to some one new in your life. we will never replace what we once had but I now know a connection with a new love will deaden and replace the pain with some thing that hopefully brings back our sense of self and make life worth living . Warning to you though when you find some one do not be a fooled like I was. watch out for the psychopath look it up what to do after being used by them they pray on people like us so look for the sine's listed there about them
I know what you mean this winter is hard to take the short days. I to look forward to the long days. The nights are now to long. So hard to take for me to.. Positive thoughts winter is almost over the spring is on its way with long days no snow grass goes green flowers bloom so will we. I hope we can take advantage of the new season to help ease this hell of a life alone that we face. There are a lot of people like us tortured by something we can not change no mater how we try. one day at a time look after your self first