BPD for sure!
Susy P sent me a link to this website the other day and it really helped me to learn more about NPD and BPD. Whereas I knew that exN was definitely NPD, now I know that BPDX IS really BPD!
I can still barely comprehend how he created a magnificent argument on Friday and then refused to come to the weekend away we planned. I went by myself and had a really fantastic time. Didn't really miss him to be honest; what's there to miss?? Mood swings faster, than lightening, manipulation, controll and venomous words, 2 minutes after he tells me that I am the most amazing person he ever met?? Complete mindf*ck!
I got home yesterday evening and he was lovely whole evening, until we gone to bed, and he said he missed me (while I was away). I said that he could have come to the hotel (even just for a day) if he missed me. I didn't say anything nasty, just that if he missed me, he could have come there. He just went beserk at me and shouted and swore at me. When I said to him (in a calm voice) that after the way you just spoke to me, I don't want to sleep in the same bed with you, he went mental and said he'll never sleep in the same bed as me (hurray!!!) I know he just says this (and all the other horrible things) to hurt me, but he can't anymore. He blamed ME that I could have asked him to go to the hotel!! First of all, I did, before I left, I ate humble pie (again!) and asked him to come, but he refused (must have felt so good for him to be in controll, shallow shit!) and walked out, secondly, HE WAS THE ONE who said that he missed me!! I certainly didn't miss him after the way he treated me!
I did get a bit worked up but walked away, had a cigarette (must quit when I'm free of him!!!) and went to sleep. OK, it took me like 1/2 hr to go to sleep, but I did goto sleep. This morning he just made a condescending comment, trying to get a reaction, which I didn't give him, and it felt soooooo good!!
My next JE will be a long one; I have taken some notes from Susy's link re: BDP and I will put my bits on it re: BPDX.
Just feel so mad, he is nothing but a manipulating, controlling psycho, and no, I do NOT feel sorry for him anymore! No more compassion! My compassion is now going towards ME! Son of a bitch can dwell in his own shit!!!
(sorry about excessive use of swear words!)
I can still barely comprehend how he created a magnificent argument on Friday and then refused to come to the weekend away we planned. I went by myself and had a really fantastic time. Didn't really miss him to be honest; what's there to miss?? Mood swings faster, than lightening, manipulation, controll and venomous words, 2 minutes after he tells me that I am the most amazing person he ever met?? Complete mindf*ck!
I got home yesterday evening and he was lovely whole evening, until we gone to bed, and he said he missed me (while I was away). I said that he could have come to the hotel (even just for a day) if he missed me. I didn't say anything nasty, just that if he missed me, he could have come there. He just went beserk at me and shouted and swore at me. When I said to him (in a calm voice) that after the way you just spoke to me, I don't want to sleep in the same bed with you, he went mental and said he'll never sleep in the same bed as me (hurray!!!) I know he just says this (and all the other horrible things) to hurt me, but he can't anymore. He blamed ME that I could have asked him to go to the hotel!! First of all, I did, before I left, I ate humble pie (again!) and asked him to come, but he refused (must have felt so good for him to be in controll, shallow shit!) and walked out, secondly, HE WAS THE ONE who said that he missed me!! I certainly didn't miss him after the way he treated me!
I did get a bit worked up but walked away, had a cigarette (must quit when I'm free of him!!!) and went to sleep. OK, it took me like 1/2 hr to go to sleep, but I did goto sleep. This morning he just made a condescending comment, trying to get a reaction, which I didn't give him, and it felt soooooo good!!
My next JE will be a long one; I have taken some notes from Susy's link re: BDP and I will put my bits on it re: BPDX.
Just feel so mad, he is nothing but a manipulating, controlling psycho, and no, I do NOT feel sorry for him anymore! No more compassion! My compassion is now going towards ME! Son of a bitch can dwell in his own shit!!!
(sorry about excessive use of swear words!)
Replies
Totally hear you, including the swearing!!! :)