Birthday coming up

My birthday is this Thursday. I always do a lot of self reflection the week leading to my birthday. I was looking so forward to celebrating this birthday with my SO and my baby..I daydreamed about this day, had a lot of plans... now I don't know where my life is going.. I have a work review coming up..and if anyone asks me where I see myself in 5 years time....
I am getting vibes from God that He is with me...lots of hints.. I wanted to visit my baby last weekend, ahead of time for my birthday, but I wasn't feeling strong enough, my feet were like lead weights when I left the house to the cemetery, then less than 100 m to the cemetery, I met an old friend that just encouraged me and we talked about Sinza, and suddenly, I felt strong enough to reach her grave. Small signs of encouragement. Maybe life is worth living after all. I just wish I felt it was worth celebrating.. I hope I don't give up.. I so want to hit a changing point in my life..that is my birthday wish.