been a bad few months

i know it has been forever since i have been on and i think that has hurt me. i feel i have no support except for a few close people and i really need it. there are no support groups around here and i am in the capital of nys!! this may trigger but my eating has gone down the shitter and i purged again. i had been good about that for a long time and again it happened when i was out to dinner with my son and his wife, even with other people in the restroom, so mortifying. for some reason the new position at work is causing me to eat less and i dont sit down for lunch or break, it is a crappy little break room so i go outside and walk. it is finally a day shift, i should be able to eat a normal food plan but im not. just cant eat breakfast that early so just have a handful of sunflower seeds on break and instead of eating my protien and almonds i just eat the bar. i know i have lost some wieght which icant be doing and i have the clinical nutrtion dr apt thursday and it wont be pretty

i am under so much stress, work is stressful, as always money is and for some time now my parents, esp. my mother are a huge drain. my mother is slowly dying, nothing in particular, body just slowly dying off and i do truly feel bad but it is so hard to be around her. i have never felt loved by my mother, it was always about her and i am trying so hard to do the best i can. they wouldnt move to assited living they expect all of us to do everything. it is draining me and causing severe stress, i cant be there for more then an hour and half. i have cleaned the house with her crying about it yet no phone call to the cleaning lady. i need to find a home health aide to be there all day and make meals, go grocery shopping etc. but they are hard to find. i really cant stand it much more. it s all affecting me in a bad way. sorry for the rant