back again

Have not been  on again in a while although reading my last entry I did not realize almost a month had gone by.  Things are still crazy at work and at home.  My mom is a new drama every day it seems.  I am glad that she is close by now but it has definitely raised my anxiety level.  He's been drinking more again.  That's funny how that works.  I absolutely  HATE alcohol now.  I can't stand to be around anyone who's drinking.  I feel so lonely but when he starts getting super mushy after he's had a few and wants to hug me I can't stand it.  Maybe it's because you know that one wrong response could change that whole alcohol induced mood.  And what does it say about me that he can only be that affectionate when he's got alcohol in his system.  great huh?  Funny one of my first goals when I joined daily strength was just to be consistent and journal on a regular basis and I can't seem to manage even that.  Not really surprising.  I never seem to finish anything I start.