back again

I was just reading my previous entry.  I have not been on here in a long time.  I know that is partially because when I am better I don't come back but this fall things are a little different.  I have had anxiety days and not been back here and today I feel fine although there is a lot of crap going on and I still felt the need to get on here and see how others were doing.  I think I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that things will not change with him.  I am trying to get brave enough to prepare to leave.  It is going to be hard in this crappy ca economy.  I would love to just go home to AZ but in this economy it would be hard to find a job.  I need to finish my certification first I think.  I think he knows he is losing his hold over me and that is why he is so angry.