Autograph Book
My cousin, who is a nurse, contacted me about a friend of her who is also a nurse. They were talking late into the night and the friend brought up a story about how a couple of years ago when she and her husband were divorcing her teenage daughter was depressed and cutting herself. She happened to go to a funeral of a young woman who had taken her life with her grandfather. It was Cassi. It changed her life. Immediately she realized she had been looking through dark colored glasses, skewing her perception. She saw me and grabbed her grandfather thinking he could bring Cassi back to life, alas he could not.
However she always wanted to talk to me but didn't know how and was nervous. I spoke with her mother and let her know I would love to talk to her. We are supposed to meet face to face Sunday and I was looking through things looking for a little gift to take her, something belonging to Cassi. I think I will take her Cassi's tassel from her graduation cap. I was looking at a little autograph book from Disney Land...my baby had printed out her name and address inside in her little girl scrawl. On page 1 she had written "Reserved for Mickey". On page 2 she had written "Reserved for Minnie". On page 3...big sigh...she had written "Reserved for Mommy". I'd never seen that before and certainly can't give it away now.
My sweet, sweet precious baby...I don't wanna be here anymore without her.
However she always wanted to talk to me but didn't know how and was nervous. I spoke with her mother and let her know I would love to talk to her. We are supposed to meet face to face Sunday and I was looking through things looking for a little gift to take her, something belonging to Cassi. I think I will take her Cassi's tassel from her graduation cap. I was looking at a little autograph book from Disney Land...my baby had printed out her name and address inside in her little girl scrawl. On page 1 she had written "Reserved for Mickey". On page 2 she had written "Reserved for Minnie". On page 3...big sigh...she had written "Reserved for Mommy". I'd never seen that before and certainly can't give it away now.
My sweet, sweet precious baby...I don't wanna be here anymore without her.
Replies
I understand. I\'ve been really down, too & don\'t want to be here without Charlie, either. Things seem to be worse since I hit & then passed the 2 year mark.
Big Hugs,
Donna
Such an incredibly touching story.......I\'m so touched by your courage and compassion for this girl. I see your healing before me.....even if you don\'t yet feel it. I love the autograph gift Cassie left you, too. How incredibly sweet. Patti
How incredible that Cassi touched and changed that young girl\'s life! Thinking of you, dear Gina. Gentle hugs xxx
It is so hard. We are here for a reason.
Love and tight hugs, M
Cassi matters as do YOU and look at what a difference she IS making and continues to. As Debbie reminds us we are our children\'s memory keepers and it is vital that we keep shining their light as well as ours no matter how dim it might feel at times. It\'s there...
Hoping Sunday fills you both as I suspect it will dear Gina.
Hand in hand and Heart to heart,
XO Joanie
Gina, the first few years are so difficult after the loss of our child. I think that in having a page reserved for her mommy, Cassie was trying to let you know she loves you still. I know for the first few years things seemed to be harder and harder for me. Sometimes I look back and wonder how I made it through. I am finally glad I did though. Sending you lots of love, Leda
Such a touching story. I think the tassel is a wonderful gift. It\'s so bittersweet but our children continue to touch others. None of us want to be without our kids but in reality, this earthly life is so very short compared to the eternity we will have with our children. Much love. Robin
I agree with Robin the tassel is a great little gift. You are getting signs from Cassie go with them. I always found helping someone else was helping me heal.
Tight hugs
Penny
So hope your meeting with this girl brings you both comfort. What a generous gift of Cassi\'s tassel. It has such a special meaning.
Thinking of you,
Debbie
Cassi\'s tassel will be the perfect little gift. I hope the meeting with the little girl will prove to be a healing experiance, for you both. (((HUGS))), Julia
How lovely that Cassi helped someone and you can meet her and get that affirmation of something positive.
You are inspiring this young lady and together with Cassie are sending forth vibes of healing in the world. I know you don\'t want to be here as it is so very hard. Just think of the good you can do. In time maybe you can help others as you are doing today. I will be thinking of you in this journey. Peace,. Kathy